5 ms·

My sons don't date. They'd like to but to what eventual end? It is impossible for 2 typical wage earners to pair off and start a family.

nicolashahn 1y ago
Income is inversely correlated with fertility https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_and_fertility https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_and_fertility
jll29 1y ago
Is that what they told you, or is it your own conclusion? If you find that that special someone, you will work things out (and parents may be able to help), it's strange to hear an economic argument being made for not showing an interest in the opposite sex.
- happytoexplain 1y ago
  This is idealistic.
- 4b11b4 1y ago
  Agree, what else is there
  - 4b11b4 1y ago
    But it's so naive
- WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
  > Is that what they told you, or is it your own conclusion? Me and my 5 adult sons live together. We talk about these things so I know. > If you find that that special someone, you will work things out Math says no. Two people working full time who make 60% of basic bills isn't sustainable. They might 'work things out' for one month or three. But as long as that goes on, stress will grow. That kind of stress eats hope. Eventually the couple will lapse into survival mode where every day is numb. The solution to this isn't more Will or Love or Good Thoughts. The solution is an economy where a couple can support themselves on ≤2 typical incomes.
  - joules77 1y ago
    Send them abroad. Just like Parents from the rest of the world sent their kids to the US once upon a time. Move where the jobs and money move. Waiting for politicians and corporations to fix the economy is like waiting for parasites to produce a corn field.
    - WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
      > Send them abroad. If I had the money to do that I wouldn't need to live with my 5 adult sons. > Move where the jobs and money move. Reestablishing to another market requires a fat stack of cash and a lot of luck. More so for 6 people. Once there the clock is ticking and whatever cash remains is evaporating while everyone searches for work. If enough jobs aren't found in time, 6 people are homeless.
      - joules77 1y ago
        Do you think every immigrant who moved to the US sat on large stacks of cash? Go and talk to them and ask them how they did it cuz you have no idea what you are talking about.
        WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
        > Reestablishing to another market requires a fat stack of cash and a lot of luck. If enough jobs aren't found in time, 6 people are homeless. > Do you think every immigrant who moved to the US sat on large stacks of cash? Not every one. Some had established family on the other end - and they had housing and jobs waiting for them. Some didn't and wound up homeless. > you have no idea what you are talking about. I've lived every bit of this. Including homelessness. Including distance moves made possible by family support. I can't imagine what qualifications you feel are needed.
sshine 1y ago
What a pity to come into this world when the train has already left. This economy is so bad we can’t even afford recreational sex!
chrismatheson 1y ago
Personally I cant ever remember a time where I thought that far ahead. Maybe I was one of the last "lucky ones" that did my teens and twenties when 'dating' was less official and its was closer to just, I like spending time with you.
- WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
  Maybe you grew up before kids were locked into adult populated boxes 24/7.
jfengel 1y ago
Relationships are about more than offspring. If money is tight, having a live-in partner is a cost saving. It doesn't have to be a romantic partner, though there are advantages to that. In other words... I suspect that there is more to your sons not dating than the challenges of raising a family. And that's perfectly fine; not everybody has to pair off romantically. If they do want a family, but without a romantic pairing... that's probably not a good idea. If they're hoping for a partner for the sole purpose of breeding without romantic attachment, they're going to find few takers no matter how much money they make.
- WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
  > If money is tight, having a live-in partner is a cost saving. We're pretty close to a 4 income economy here. > I suspect that there is more to your sons not dating than the challenges of raising a family. Sure. I dated a lot because I had social skills - courtesy of a youth spent in adult-free, free roaming. My kids had a modern upbringing. 24/7 adulting. Every day spent moving from one adult-populated, adult curated box to another. No free roaming or adult-free hours. Think of the wretched economy as the guarantee, in case some hope survived their adult-ruined childhood.

nicolashahn 1y ago

Income is inversely correlated with fertility https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_and_fertility https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_and_fertility

jll29 1y ago

Is that what they told you, or is it your own conclusion? If you find that that special someone, you will work things out (and parents may be able to help), it's strange to hear an economic argument being made for not showing an interest in the opposite sex.

happytoexplain 1y ago
This is idealistic.
4b11b4 1y ago
Agree, what else is there
- 4b11b4 1y ago
  But it's so naive
WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
> Is that what they told you, or is it your own conclusion? Me and my 5 adult sons live together. We talk about these things so I know. > If you find that that special someone, you will work things out Math says no. Two people working full time who make 60% of basic bills isn't sustainable. They might 'work things out' for one month or three. But as long as that goes on, stress will grow. That kind of stress eats hope. Eventually the couple will lapse into survival mode where every day is numb. The solution to this isn't more Will or Love or Good Thoughts. The solution is an economy where a couple can support themselves on ≤2 typical incomes.
- joules77 1y ago
  Send them abroad. Just like Parents from the rest of the world sent their kids to the US once upon a time. Move where the jobs and money move. Waiting for politicians and corporations to fix the economy is like waiting for parasites to produce a corn field.
  - WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
    > Send them abroad. If I had the money to do that I wouldn't need to live with my 5 adult sons. > Move where the jobs and money move. Reestablishing to another market requires a fat stack of cash and a lot of luck. More so for 6 people. Once there the clock is ticking and whatever cash remains is evaporating while everyone searches for work. If enough jobs aren't found in time, 6 people are homeless.
    - joules77 1y ago
      Do you think every immigrant who moved to the US sat on large stacks of cash? Go and talk to them and ask them how they did it cuz you have no idea what you are talking about.
      - WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
        > Reestablishing to another market requires a fat stack of cash and a lot of luck. If enough jobs aren't found in time, 6 people are homeless. > Do you think every immigrant who moved to the US sat on large stacks of cash? Not every one. Some had established family on the other end - and they had housing and jobs waiting for them. Some didn't and wound up homeless. > you have no idea what you are talking about. I've lived every bit of this. Including homelessness. Including distance moves made possible by family support. I can't imagine what qualifications you feel are needed.

sshine 1y ago

What a pity to come into this world when the train has already left. This economy is so bad we can’t even afford recreational sex!

chrismatheson 1y ago

Personally I cant ever remember a time where I thought that far ahead. Maybe I was one of the last "lucky ones" that did my teens and twenties when 'dating' was less official and its was closer to just, I like spending time with you.

WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
Maybe you grew up before kids were locked into adult populated boxes 24/7.

jfengel 1y ago

Relationships are about more than offspring. If money is tight, having a live-in partner is a cost saving. It doesn't have to be a romantic partner, though there are advantages to that. In other words... I suspect that there is more to your sons not dating than the challenges of raising a family. And that's perfectly fine; not everybody has to pair off romantically. If they do want a family, but without a romantic pairing... that's probably not a good idea. If they're hoping for a partner for the sole purpose of breeding without romantic attachment, they're going to find few takers no matter how much money they make.

WarOnPrivacy 1y ago
> If money is tight, having a live-in partner is a cost saving. We're pretty close to a 4 income economy here. > I suspect that there is more to your sons not dating than the challenges of raising a family. Sure. I dated a lot because I had social skills - courtesy of a youth spent in adult-free, free roaming. My kids had a modern upbringing. 24/7 adulting. Every day spent moving from one adult-populated, adult curated box to another. No free roaming or adult-free hours. Think of the wretched economy as the guarantee, in case some hope survived their adult-ruined childhood.