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God I'm so jealous you were able to get your friends to join Discord. My in-person friend group revolved around the bar we all went to. When the bar shut down,

God I'm so jealous you were able to get your friends to join Discord. My in-person friend group revolved around the bar we all went to. When the bar shut down, I floated the idea of a group chat but couldn't get anyone interested. No one wants to install another app and get notified more. In olden days, we'd just solve the problem with Facebook, but no one uses that anymore either. My friends are ordinary, normal, overworked people who need an easy option. The bar was that. Show up when you want to connect. Easy. So now there's nothing. I basically just lost all my friends. We all have each other's numbers but that's just not an option for coordination. Fuck you, Mark Zuckerberg, for making Facebook so shitty it's not even useful anymore for the one thing I ever found it useful for. I hope when we finally start coming for the billionaires, we come for you first.

whatevertrevor 1y ago
Sorry to hear that. FWIW it feels like there was probably a mismatch in valuation of the friendship there. For my case I was able to convince many friends to connect on various chat platforms of their choice. Some friendships fizzled out, others are still going. And then there are some anew. Unfortunately a lot of our friendships are essentially default proximity relationships. These tend to not survive as soon as the first obstacle to proximity shows up if not enough people are willing to put in the effort to make it something more.
- vinceguidry 1y ago
  For me, is not a friendship unless there's regular, in person interaction, online doesn't count. Even if I'd gotten them onto another platform the only thing it would have been used for is coordinating more in person events. I've had to end online interactions because it became clear i couldn't value the relationship. Bar was perfect. Then a huge hospital opened up across the street and they didn't want a run down bar there.
  - whatevertrevor 1y ago
    Yeah the requirements are pretty much the same for me. The friendships I was alluding to were basically in-person in-office sort of friendships that demanded a larger upkeep once the pandemic hit and later when I left my job. So like you I needed some online platform to coordinate in person meetups. It worked for the most part fortunately, but there were definitely some friendships that got lost along the way.

whatevertrevor 1y ago

Sorry to hear that. FWIW it feels like there was probably a mismatch in valuation of the friendship there. For my case I was able to convince many friends to connect on various chat platforms of their choice. Some friendships fizzled out, others are still going. And then there are some anew. Unfortunately a lot of our friendships are essentially default proximity relationships. These tend to not survive as soon as the first obstacle to proximity shows up if not enough people are willing to put in the effort to make it something more.

vinceguidry 1y ago
For me, is not a friendship unless there's regular, in person interaction, online doesn't count. Even if I'd gotten them onto another platform the only thing it would have been used for is coordinating more in person events. I've had to end online interactions because it became clear i couldn't value the relationship. Bar was perfect. Then a huge hospital opened up across the street and they didn't want a run down bar there.
- whatevertrevor 1y ago
  Yeah the requirements are pretty much the same for me. The friendships I was alluding to were basically in-person in-office sort of friendships that demanded a larger upkeep once the pandemic hit and later when I left my job. So like you I needed some online platform to coordinate in person meetups. It worked for the most part fortunately, but there were definitely some friendships that got lost along the way.