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You're thinking about the wrong stage of friendmaking. The pitch here is for getting people over the first hurdle, which is being at the same place at the same

You're thinking about the wrong stage of friendmaking. The pitch here is for getting people over the first hurdle, which is being at the same place at the same time as other people, and to some extent, the second hurdle, which is striking up a conversation (as anyone who would attend something like this is, by their presence, signalling an interest in at least casual interaction with the other participants). This adds people to your "acquaintances" list. The next step is forming setting specific friendships. Your gym buddies, your work friends, etc. Then you need to actually invite some of those friends to other settings, until your friendship isn't entirely predicated on the particular setting. Then you need to spend enough time with that person to maintain the friendship. For most people, the big hurdles are the "being present", "striking up a conversation", and "converting setting specific friendships into general friendships" steps. Everything else is pretty straightforward. Casually dropping by someone's place unscheduled is typically reserved for pretty close friends. That's not what this service is targeting.

tonymet 1y ago
being out in public , at libraries coffee shops, parks & being accessible would be the analog of that phase.
- komali2 1y ago
  Depending on the culture, it's significantly easier to actually make friends at "sanctioned" events, such as whatever this offline club is, or Meetups. Sometimes just a nametag is all it takes to completely shift interpersonal dynamics for a culture. I notice that the "just talk to strangers in public" crowd really like to apply this to unwilling participants, as if everyone else is "just too scared" or something. I cringe so hard when I see e.g. Americans try to bully through "cultural baggage" in Japan to talk to strangers. "See, not so hard, no need to be so uptight!" Not realizing they're causing incredible discomfort to whoever they're trying to make friends with, misinterpreting desperate politeness for some kind of finally-unlocked freedom of expression. It's not "oh thank god this friendly foreigner started talking to me, my culture is so stuffy and oppressive and boring, now I can make a great friend!" it's "why is this person talking to me, are they crazy, I don't know them, what do they want, how can I get out of this situation??" Whereas in a meetup, everyone there is in the mindset that they want to meet and talk to strangers, and maybe make a couple new friends.
  - Taikonerd 1y ago
    > Sometimes just a nametag is all it takes to completely shift interpersonal dynamics for a culture. Well put. If you're at a meetup that's explicitly supposed to be a social event, then it's not weird to talk to people you don't know. Whereas it might be, if you're waiting in line at your local coffee shop. (Depends on your local culture.)

tonymet 1y ago

being out in public , at libraries coffee shops, parks & being accessible would be the analog of that phase.

komali2 1y ago
Depending on the culture, it's significantly easier to actually make friends at "sanctioned" events, such as whatever this offline club is, or Meetups. Sometimes just a nametag is all it takes to completely shift interpersonal dynamics for a culture. I notice that the "just talk to strangers in public" crowd really like to apply this to unwilling participants, as if everyone else is "just too scared" or something. I cringe so hard when I see e.g. Americans try to bully through "cultural baggage" in Japan to talk to strangers. "See, not so hard, no need to be so uptight!" Not realizing they're causing incredible discomfort to whoever they're trying to make friends with, misinterpreting desperate politeness for some kind of finally-unlocked freedom of expression. It's not "oh thank god this friendly foreigner started talking to me, my culture is so stuffy and oppressive and boring, now I can make a great friend!" it's "why is this person talking to me, are they crazy, I don't know them, what do they want, how can I get out of this situation??" Whereas in a meetup, everyone there is in the mindset that they want to meet and talk to strangers, and maybe make a couple new friends.
- Taikonerd 1y ago
  > Sometimes just a nametag is all it takes to completely shift interpersonal dynamics for a culture. Well put. If you're at a meetup that's explicitly supposed to be a social event, then it's not weird to talk to people you don't know. Whereas it might be, if you're waiting in line at your local coffee shop. (Depends on your local culture.)