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I live in a vacation area upstairs from a bar frequented by tourists. I’m friends with the bartender. I’ll go down there when it’s not too busy sit at the bar

I live in a vacation area upstairs from a bar frequented by tourists. I’m friends with the bartender. I’ll go down there when it’s not too busy sit at the bar talk to the bartender and whoever else comes around and is interested in talking. Mostly other guys or couples. I usually avoid talking to women because I’m obviously married wearing my ring and no matter what, it might come across as creepy and women usually have their guard up and are probably there with spouses somewhere around.

lotsofpulp 1y ago
Those are unknown to you, but not completely random. They are at least rich enough to go on vacation, and outgoing enough to go to a bar (and either have friends to go on vacation with or be coupled up), and the bartender is helping you screen them. Many people typically want to chat with people unknown to them, but not completely random either (especially for women).
- scarface_74 1y ago
  There are certain environments where you can randomly talk to people and it’s considered a social norm and certain environments you can’t. Sitting at the bar is one of those places. I usually go, get one drink and sip on soda the rest of the time and just talk. The bartender doesn’t mind because we are friends and I bring him a lot more business just from other people hanging around and ordering drinks. On the other hand, the gym is usually not a place where people want to talk and especially where women don’t want to be approached by men. I use to teach group fitness part time in another life and the exception was as one of the few straight men (and at the time single), women naturally came up and spoke to me or I could start conversations with them and thier guard would be down. Also airports, planes and other public transportation are places I generally don’t strike up random conversations.

lotsofpulp 1y ago

Those are unknown to you, but not completely random. They are at least rich enough to go on vacation, and outgoing enough to go to a bar (and either have friends to go on vacation with or be coupled up), and the bartender is helping you screen them. Many people typically want to chat with people unknown to them, but not completely random either (especially for women).

scarface_74 1y ago
There are certain environments where you can randomly talk to people and it’s considered a social norm and certain environments you can’t. Sitting at the bar is one of those places. I usually go, get one drink and sip on soda the rest of the time and just talk. The bartender doesn’t mind because we are friends and I bring him a lot more business just from other people hanging around and ordering drinks. On the other hand, the gym is usually not a place where people want to talk and especially where women don’t want to be approached by men. I use to teach group fitness part time in another life and the exception was as one of the few straight men (and at the time single), women naturally came up and spoke to me or I could start conversations with them and thier guard would be down. Also airports, planes and other public transportation are places I generally don’t strike up random conversations.