I like the less formal, personal tone. It makes you seem like a real person, and it makes you more likable. That's important. The problem is that it's all about

I like the less formal, personal tone. It makes you seem like a real person, and it makes you more likable. That's important. The problem is that it's all about you. A cover letter's goal is to position yourself as the solution to someone else's problem. That means showing that you understand their needs. It's hard to do that without a cover letter that is highly personalized. You also don't mention any specific accomplishments. You can write for hours about how much you love programming, but what most hiring managers are really concerned with is your end product. Keep the personal tone, but talk more about the employer and less about you. When you do talk about yourself, talk about specific things that you've done that demonstrate that you're the guy for the job.