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> But in the end, society owes individuals nothing when it comes to finding romantic partners. it would benefit society if more people paired up, it's healthier

> But in the end, society owes individuals nothing when it comes to finding romantic partners. it would benefit society if more people paired up, it's healthier for everyone involved and for society at large. But the strict social law that must be upheld is that individuals either adapt to the preferences of their desired romantic partners or to living a celibate life and all the consequences that come with that. There is no third option that is valid. They're not involuntary celibates, they are voluntarily maladapted. There's also the practice of having parents/congregation decide on marriage partner. I wonder if some of the would-be incels have traditionally been masked by that. Society (or rather, the economy) has strong reasons to make children happen; stronger than I think you make it out to be. It will find a new way to do match making.

notepad0x90 1y ago
I think you have a point, but I like how contemporary arranged marriages are done in Indian culture in the west at least. The children consent into it. Historically, children had no choice in arranged marriage, I don't think that has any place in a society that rejects marital rape. I'm no psychoanalyst, but I suspect how children are raised in their developmental years (<13yo) is the bedrock that is causing adults like this. If a person doesn't learn to have healthy platonic relations with the opposite sex in those years, it leads to complications and problems in personality like this. A lot of people were raised to have societal expectation from a time society was vastly different or they were raised by families that are holding on to those historical times. But modern society no longer requires Women to play their historical role, men simply need to adapt to this reality. I for one am happy for Women, as one would be for their sisters or mothers being liberated and empowered. A person who finds their romantic success to be a higher importance than other people's ability to live a more fair and just life to be sociopathic. That said, society does have it's own issues in that every aspect of it penalizes not having friends, family or romantic partners. Even if someone adapts to celibacy, society won't let them be. But then again, society has a lot of issues that are more important.

notepad0x90 1y ago

I think you have a point, but I like how contemporary arranged marriages are done in Indian culture in the west at least. The children consent into it. Historically, children had no choice in arranged marriage, I don't think that has any place in a society that rejects marital rape. I'm no psychoanalyst, but I suspect how children are raised in their developmental years (<13yo) is the bedrock that is causing adults like this. If a person doesn't learn to have healthy platonic relations with the opposite sex in those years, it leads to complications and problems in personality like this. A lot of people were raised to have societal expectation from a time society was vastly different or they were raised by families that are holding on to those historical times. But modern society no longer requires Women to play their historical role, men simply need to adapt to this reality. I for one am happy for Women, as one would be for their sisters or mothers being liberated and empowered. A person who finds their romantic success to be a higher importance than other people's ability to live a more fair and just life to be sociopathic. That said, society does have it's own issues in that every aspect of it penalizes not having friends, family or romantic partners. Even if someone adapts to celibacy, society won't let them be. But then again, society has a lot of issues that are more important.