7 ms·
Why do they need to be male-only to solve the male loneliness epidemic? Why can't men socialize in public spaces in a way that isn't offensive to others? I say
by ToucanLoucan 1y ago
Why do they need to be male-only to solve the male loneliness epidemic? Why can't men socialize in public spaces in a way that isn't offensive to others?
I say this as a former dude who has spent the vast, vast, vast majority of my life as a man, socializing with men and not-men, in public. I have never had a single issue.
- krisboyz781 1y agoSame reason why women like having women spaces. There certain experiences exclusive to being a male.
- ToucanLoucan 1y agoExample?
- ivanmontillam 1y agoCigar smoking.
- jerk-o 1y agoI know of an older woman (has grandkids) who smokes cigars at the cigar shop I smoke at. The discussions with "The Boys" are different when she's around.
- ToucanLoucan 1y agoI'll have to let my HR manager know women can't smoke cigars. She clearly doesn't know, went through a bunch at our last company meeting.
- dingnuts 1y agocandid discussion of relations with the opposite sex without fear of offense
- ToucanLoucan 1y ago[flagged]
- baq 1y agoWomen probably talk about sex much, much more than men.
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- BurningFrog 1y agoAgain, completely missing the point.
- Scarblac 1y agoMen don't.
- BJones12 1y agoTalking about your feelings without fear of a woman getting the ick.
- fock 1y agoAnd so what? Given the display of men's feelings w.r.t. to "mixed groups", I (heterosexual male) get the ick about some people here... For me most of it is about the space/relationship where certain things should happen, but I guess scientific misogyny is a thing too.
- jajko 1y agoWhy so toxic without understanding (and caring to understand) the other side of the discussion? Plenty of full explanations in this thread.
- watwut 1y agoThere are no women only spaces where I live. Nor were and no one complained. Unless you talk about monastery of toilette.
- nothercastle 1y agoAs a general rule men with money can’t behave well around women or at least don’t want to
- baq 1y agoMen who show off their money. Not all do. But then, some women like men who obviously have money; that was true back when money was invented.
- bluefirebrand 1y agoThey need to be male only spaces because introducing women to the space fundamentally changes the social dynamic among the men, especially the single men I have seen this ever since the moment me and my friends hit puberty in high school, to this very day. When a group of men is hanging out they are more relaxed. The moment a woman is in the space the vibe changes I cannot be the only person who has noticed this
- ToucanLoucan 1y ago[flagged]
- adrianN 1y ago„Just don’t comply with social expectations“ is an advice that is often given but seldomly followed.
- baq 1y agoNo. It’s a human issue. Some women with a female version of the you problem make the male you problem worse. Why some places can’t be man-free or woman-free to get biology and game theory out of the way?
- lynx97 1y agoThis.
- BurningFrog 1y agoYou're completely missing the point. A mixed group works different socially than a male only group. That's not because the men are socially incompetent. It's because it's a fundamentally different social situation. Even when everyone is an elite socializer. I'm afraid you may be the one who needs to learn more about socializing.
- bluefirebrand 1y ago> Like I'm being a bit of a contrarian dick This is the only thing you've said that I agree with > If you lose the ability to be a normal person What is normal for a group of men is different than what is normal for the same group of men when a woman is present It's not rocket science here.
- barry-cotter 1y agoBecause men and women are different and have mixed and single sex spaces have radically different norms and interaction styles. Given that all respectable mixed institutions default to female interaction styles this is profoundly alienating for men. If one has never spent any time in all male spaces or has and thinks that men are defective women, like the average male therapist or counsellor this may not be obvious.
- piltdownman 1y agoSpot on. This is immediately evident at Primary School level, whereby normative female behaviour for that age is seen as the ideal. As psychologist Michael Thompson puts it “Girl behavior is the gold standard in schools. Boys are treated like defective girls". In the US by the 8th grade, 48 percent of girls receive a mix of A and B grades compared to 31 percent of boys. More tellingly, Boys account for 71 percent of all school suspensions. The gap remains through high school and in college, with females representing nearly 60 percent of all college graduates. “If you treat girls as the gold standards and boys as defective girls, that’s going to be demoralizing,” Thompson says. “What do elementary and junior high girls always say about boys their age? ‘You are so immature.’ If that’s the norm, then this system is just rigged against the boys.” There's a wonderful bit in a 2013 Time article which illustrates that this predominant viewpoint is often indelibly coded on the (majority female) teaching staff, to the grave detriment of the male students: https://ideas.time.com/2013/10/28/what-schools-can-do-to-help-boys-succeed/ https://ideas.time.com/2013/10/28/what-schools-can-do-to-hel... //Peg Tyre’s The Trouble With Boys illustrates the point. She tells the story of a third-grader in Southern California named Justin who loved Star Wars, pirates, wars and weapons. An alarmed teacher summoned his parents to school to discuss a picture the 8-year-old had drawn of a sword fight — which included several decapitated heads. The teacher expressed “concern” about Justin’s “values.” The father, astonished by the teacher’s repugnance for a typical boy drawing, wondered if his son could ever win the approval of someone who had so little sympathy for the child’s imagination. ... If boys are constantly subject to disapproval for their interests and enthusiasms, they are likely to become disengaged and lag further behind//
- LargeWu 1y ago
- yieldcrv 1y ago> Why can't men socialize in public spaces in a way that isn't offensive to others? They can, and thats not the point of having men’s groups and men’s spacing. This only reveals your assumptions and biases.
- pixxel 1y ago[dead]
- johnb231 1y agoThey don't, and no one is stopping you from opening a gender neutral club. > offensive to others Sound like you have issues. It's a club. They meet up to play board games. Maybe you could start a club of people who are offended by everything.
- lynx97 1y agoSo you are automatically assuming men are the offenders. This is very much a constructed prejudice. Did you ever consider that men want men-only spaces to avoid being accused and talked down to? While I never visited a mens only place, I totally understand why that would be the rule at some of them.
- floodle 1y agoThen just don't go? I personally prefer mixed gender spaces but I can understand why some people might prefer single gender spaces. It doesn't mean they necessarily have "an issue".
- nkrisc 1y agoSometimes men just want to hang out with other men. I’m a straight man who usually gets along better with women than men, but I still also like spending time with just other men as well. It’s just different. I have no doubt that my presence in a group of women changes the dynamic. There needs to be some place men can just spend time with other men. Yes, it’s a problem if those men only places become important to business or politics such that it disadvantages women, but there’s got to be something else instead, then. Women should also have places where they can be together without men. And there should be a majority of places where men and women can spend time equally.
- meheleventyone 1y ago> There needs to be some place men can just spend time with other men. This is literally anytime, anywhere though. Do just not meet up with their friends? You can go to dinner, get drinks, go hiking, play sports, bike, ski, sunbathe, play videogames and many more things in single-sex groups without raising an eyebrow. The real classic for men of a certain persuasion from a western cultural POV is golf right? I think there's some strange cultural hangup I'm missing where the entire place needs to be single-sex.
- degamad 1y ago> Do just not meet up with their friends? What friends?
- meheleventyone 1y agoWell that's a different issue. Are we really saying men can only make friends in single-sex environments because I think that is trivially untrue?
- nkrisc 1y agoWhy can’t there be some semi-public place where only men, or only women, or only whomever you choose, is allowed? Why can’t that exist? What you described is unrelated. Yes, people can and do go out and do stuff.