3 ms·

Your opinions are valid, though I would like to point out that I (for instance) felt the pre-dive fear was not at all unrealistic, and so it may be that our opi

by iambot 14y ago

Your opinions are valid, though I would like to point out that I (for instance) felt the pre-dive fear was not at all unrealistic, and so it may be that our opinions are divided based on our personalities / life-experience. But never the less, if that is his pre-dive emotion, who are you to discount his fear? other than perhaps someone with the benefit of hindsight? (I pressume you to be older than 16). I like it, and you're welcome to your opinion (obviously), just thought I'd share my opinion of yours.

Peroni 14y ago
Granted, everyone thinks differently. The subject is a 16 year old male. Pre-dive his fear would primarily be the height and significant impact on landing. They are primal fears that significantly override one of rejection. Post-dive, how likely is it that a 16 year old would surface and shout 'I failed'? Realistically, they may think like that but they wouldn't vocalise it. They would sheepishly swim off to a corner out of sight.
- iambot 14y ago
  I agree with you with regards the post-dive, but pre-dive, speaking from experience I can imagine my 16-year-old self going through that exact thought process (had I not already been jumping from any number of high objects for fun by that age already), rightly or wrongly.
- philip_roberts 14y ago
  Hi, author here. Clearly a lot of this post is my analysis of what was going on in the boys head, which I can only hypothesise about from my own experiences, but the events in the story are pretty much as they happened yesterday, rather than a created analogy. And his first words were certainly "I failed!". Thanks for everyone's comments. Appreciated!
  - Jach 14y ago
    Reality is stranger than fiction. I didn't find the story unbelievable--I'm far more conservative on trusting the psychoanalysis than the events--perhaps I've just had exposure to more "weird people" than the above commenter. If you had written the kid had let out a shrill scream of rage I wouldn't think you were lying from that alone, people are weird and have weird reactions to seemingly trivial things. What never ceases to amuse me is the array of reactions others have when meeting (relatively) famous people they are fans of.
  - lusr 14y ago
    Completely believable to me and a very astute set of observations. I've been there. I know exactly the difference you describe between justifiable fear (the unknown physical consequences of diving off a board for the first time) vs. the far more powerful irrational fears (mind reading that everybody is looking at you and laughing at how awkward you appear, especially the cute girl over there that you are quite attracted to, and how disappointed she's going to be if you mess up the dive; maximising the importance of your dive performance in your mind because you believe she wants somebody perfect, whereas for all you know she thinks it's cute, etc.). I especially enjoyed your conclusion - it's one I reached before, myself. Socially awkward people who eventually develop out of their behaviour have a great gift - they can recognize and empathize with other socially awkward people far better than the natural extroverts and, through their words of encouragement and empathy, share the gift of self-confidence.
- lhnz 14y ago
  The fear of rejection isn't much less primal than the fear of heights. Same parts of the brain, different evolutionary reasons. You are right that nobody shouts out "I failed", but it's not unusual to hear something defensive like a sheepish "I'm not very good at diving" or "I messed that up". It basically means the same thing -- they are preparing to be rejected by the tribe by reducing their social status (and increasing the relative status of the people they are speaking to.)
- qxcv 14y ago
  I imagine it as more of an attempt to engage with the bystanders, maybe to try and tell them that he can do better. "Ugh! I failed", he says, trying to smile in the direction of the onlooking girls. A quick attempt at a chuckle to make light of the situation and he swims away. OTOH it does sound like the kid in question was a lot younger than 16, especially considering his reaction and the fact that he was at the pool with his mother.
- lusr 14y ago
  Are you saying you can't imagine yourself with those fears? That's fair enough. To claim, however, that no 16 year old male could behave that way seems absurd. I myself provide a counterexample; perhaps I am not real to you :) (My social anxiety - described so well by this post - extended well into adulthood and even now in my late 20s I still suffer from occasional social anxiety.)

by iambot 14y ago

Peroni 14y ago

Granted, everyone thinks differently. The subject is a 16 year old male. Pre-dive his fear would primarily be the height and significant impact on landing. They are primal fears that significantly override one of rejection. Post-dive, how likely is it that a 16 year old would surface and shout 'I failed'? Realistically, they may think like that but they wouldn't vocalise it. They would sheepishly swim off to a corner out of sight.

iambot 14y ago
I agree with you with regards the post-dive, but pre-dive, speaking from experience I can imagine my 16-year-old self going through that exact thought process (had I not already been jumping from any number of high objects for fun by that age already), rightly or wrongly.
philip_roberts 14y ago
Hi, author here. Clearly a lot of this post is my analysis of what was going on in the boys head, which I can only hypothesise about from my own experiences, but the events in the story are pretty much as they happened yesterday, rather than a created analogy. And his first words were certainly "I failed!". Thanks for everyone's comments. Appreciated!
- Jach 14y ago
  Reality is stranger than fiction. I didn't find the story unbelievable--I'm far more conservative on trusting the psychoanalysis than the events--perhaps I've just had exposure to more "weird people" than the above commenter. If you had written the kid had let out a shrill scream of rage I wouldn't think you were lying from that alone, people are weird and have weird reactions to seemingly trivial things. What never ceases to amuse me is the array of reactions others have when meeting (relatively) famous people they are fans of.
- lusr 14y ago
  Completely believable to me and a very astute set of observations. I've been there. I know exactly the difference you describe between justifiable fear (the unknown physical consequences of diving off a board for the first time) vs. the far more powerful irrational fears (mind reading that everybody is looking at you and laughing at how awkward you appear, especially the cute girl over there that you are quite attracted to, and how disappointed she's going to be if you mess up the dive; maximising the importance of your dive performance in your mind because you believe she wants somebody perfect, whereas for all you know she thinks it's cute, etc.). I especially enjoyed your conclusion - it's one I reached before, myself. Socially awkward people who eventually develop out of their behaviour have a great gift - they can recognize and empathize with other socially awkward people far better than the natural extroverts and, through their words of encouragement and empathy, share the gift of self-confidence.
lhnz 14y ago
The fear of rejection isn't much less primal than the fear of heights. Same parts of the brain, different evolutionary reasons. You are right that nobody shouts out "I failed", but it's not unusual to hear something defensive like a sheepish "I'm not very good at diving" or "I messed that up". It basically means the same thing -- they are preparing to be rejected by the tribe by reducing their social status (and increasing the relative status of the people they are speaking to.)
qxcv 14y ago
I imagine it as more of an attempt to engage with the bystanders, maybe to try and tell them that he can do better. "Ugh! I failed", he says, trying to smile in the direction of the onlooking girls. A quick attempt at a chuckle to make light of the situation and he swims away. OTOH it does sound like the kid in question was a lot younger than 16, especially considering his reaction and the fact that he was at the pool with his mother.
lusr 14y ago
Are you saying you can't imagine yourself with those fears? That's fair enough. To claim, however, that no 16 year old male could behave that way seems absurd. I myself provide a counterexample; perhaps I am not real to you :) (My social anxiety - described so well by this post - extended well into adulthood and even now in my late 20s I still suffer from occasional social anxiety.)