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You do realize that some use this exact argument to justify date rape, right?

by GuiA 14y ago

rodly 14y ago
He clearly didn't mean it in a sexual context. Your sarcasm and cynicism is detestable.
- underwater 14y ago
  It was in reply to the comment "Impressing girl X strong enough to kiss you [...]", which would suggest he did.
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  - einhverfr 14y ago
    Still, if persistence to get a "yes" is to be equated with rape, then this ought to be really offensive to all rape victims out there because it totally trivializes the crimes perpetrated against them. "No means no" means everyone has a right to control bodily contact. It does not make asking a girl out for coffee the 100th time and getting shot down the equivalent of rape. It does not mean taking that as "try harder" (however stupid that may seem to be in context) to be the equivalent of rape. It is only when non-consented bodily contact is at issue that any equivalence can be drawn.
    - underwater 14y ago
      I agree that blanket rules are dumb. However The OP's original advice is dangerous because those who don't know any better could misinterpret what he is saying. It's better to start from the default safe postition of "no means no" and work backwards rather than listening to random strangers of the internet who tell you otherwise.
hackinthebochs 14y ago
Does that in itself prove the point wrong?
- GuiA 14y ago
  Not necessarily, but it should definitely make him question whether his phrasing/thought was the most pertinent reaction he could come up with.
winternet 14y ago
You realize that what he is arguing is more like "do you want to have sex?" "no" time passes "do you want to have sex?" "yes" sex then "do you want to have sex?" "no" sex.
einhverfr 14y ago
But that's violating a very specific line and you can't generalize out. "No means no" means "everyone gets a veto power over actual contact." That's all it means. it means you can't say "mixed signals mean yes." All it means is that the specific line, over contact, is one where people retain a (legal as well as social) veto power over.

You do realize that some use this exact argument to justify date rape, right?

by GuiA 14y ago

You do realize that some use this exact argument to justify date rape, right?

rodly 14y ago

He clearly didn't mean it in a sexual context. Your sarcasm and cynicism is detestable.

underwater 14y ago
It was in reply to the comment "Impressing girl X strong enough to kiss you [...]", which would suggest he did.
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- einhverfr 14y ago
  Still, if persistence to get a "yes" is to be equated with rape, then this ought to be really offensive to all rape victims out there because it totally trivializes the crimes perpetrated against them. "No means no" means everyone has a right to control bodily contact. It does not make asking a girl out for coffee the 100th time and getting shot down the equivalent of rape. It does not mean taking that as "try harder" (however stupid that may seem to be in context) to be the equivalent of rape. It is only when non-consented bodily contact is at issue that any equivalence can be drawn.
  - underwater 14y ago
    I agree that blanket rules are dumb. However The OP's original advice is dangerous because those who don't know any better could misinterpret what he is saying. It's better to start from the default safe postition of "no means no" and work backwards rather than listening to random strangers of the internet who tell you otherwise.

hackinthebochs 14y ago

Does that in itself prove the point wrong?

GuiA 14y ago
Not necessarily, but it should definitely make him question whether his phrasing/thought was the most pertinent reaction he could come up with.

winternet 14y ago

You realize that what he is arguing is more like "do you want to have sex?" "no" time passes "do you want to have sex?" "yes" sex then "do you want to have sex?" "no" sex.

einhverfr 14y ago

But that's violating a very specific line and you can't generalize out. "No means no" means "everyone gets a veto power over actual contact." That's all it means. it means you can't say "mixed signals mean yes." All it means is that the specific line, over contact, is one where people retain a (legal as well as social) veto power over.