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Why is it so hard to find founders to bounce off ideas in city you are visiting?
I’m beyond frustrated, and I know I’m not alone. Every time I visit a new city—whether it’s for work, a conference, or just to explore—I try to connect with local founders to bounce ideas off, get feedback, or just nerd out about startups. But it’s like trying to crack a secret code. Unless you’re already in the “inside circle,” it feels impossible to get face time with anyone who’s actually building something cool.
Why is this so damn hard? I get that founders are busy—trust me, I am too. But it’s not just about time. It’s about access. In every city, there’s this invisible wall around the startup scene. If you’re not already part of the clique, good luck getting in. It’s like you need a VIP pass just to have a casual coffee chat. I’ve tried cold emails, LinkedIn messages, even showing up at random coworking spaces, but it’s always the same: crickets unless you’ve got a mutual connection or some magic key I clearly don’t have.
Why do you have to be in the inside circle and how to get in?
- sherdil2022 1y agoWould you respond to cold emails and out-of-blue LinkedIn messages?
- nickevante 1y agoYes depending on the profile and achievement of the person reaching out for sure. What happened to meeting inspiring people across the world? Protectionism supports incrementalism and can kill 10x impactful innovation However, I recognize that economic challenges like inflation and intense competition can make exploration and discovery more difficult.
- romanhn 1y agoAre you an inspiring person? What are your profile and achievements? All we have to go on here is a profile created 7 years ago with zero activity until today. No offense intended, but this doesn't really feel all that different from a cold caller being frustrated that their calls aren't being picked up.
- nickevante 1y agoThere is a difference. Cold caller is calling to sell you something.
- sherdil2022 1y agoI have been there and done that. Sent LinkedIn messages but never got any response. I understand where you are coming from. I do. Then I reflected on that and thought about the many times I rarely responded to any LinkedIn messages sent by someone who I have not met or had no common connection what-so-ever. I realized everyone is busy and also may not want to spend any time or energy on someone who they have no connection - or want to protect themselves from potential spammers. What is in it for them? - That's the hard truth that rarely anyone wants to spend any time or energy on someone who they have connection. It doesn't matter if you are from the same school, city or an entrepreneur like them.
- jethronethro 1y agoWhat's in it for them? From the perspective of local founders, perhaps nothing?
- aristofun 1y agoAll the founders I know (warning - not many, so take it with the grain of salt) a) don’t waste time on mingling with random people b) more than happy to chat and connect with anyone with a specific goal explained upfront. As long ad this goal is relevant to their current or future work. “Bouncing off ideas” or “coffee chat” may sound not like a waste of time only if your work is very relevant to other founder’s work (like you are a head of competing product, or a professional with unique skillset they are looking for). People are busy building things.
- nickevante 1y agoAgree. Ideas about what to build are dime a dozen but ideas about how to execute them successfully are not that broadly shared except when the founder becomes a big success and gets their own biography written by someone. Perhaps I should have clarified I meant bouncing off ideas about execution and coffee chat on sharing inspiration on how they landed them against all odds. People are busy struggling with their own execution challenges including myself. My point is they may not have to struggle alone by 1)learning from each other and 2)paying it forward.
- bruce511 1y agoAre you bringing anything to the table? Or are you mostly looking for ways to improve yourself. Both are fine, but its not clear from your post which you are chasing. And clearly it kinda matters to the people you are contacting. If you have a specific set of challenges and you're looking for advice, then say so. If you have been successful and are looking to advise others then pitch that instead. Given that my specific industry context is different from yours, given that your experience is likely in a different country (or city) to me, I'm not really sure what you're looking for, other than being away from home and looking for people to socialize with. Perhaps it would be helpful if you articulate your goals better.
- nickevante 1y agoIt's both.... mutual sharing of learning to improve the space without immediate expectation of a return to any one party. You are assuming that the founder seeking to connect is less experienced and more desperate than the founder who is busy working on their idea and does not find the need to share anything. Google shared the Attention paper with the world. What did OpenAI bring to the table? Tesla open sourced all their EV patents. What did BYD, KIA or Ford bring to the table? These companies are stronger because they compete on their confidence to execute and because they make the entire ecosystem better. In doing so they improved each other and the industry as whole. Hope this makes sense. It's not a zero sum game! :)
- ungreased0675 1y agoNext time, ask if they do one-off consulting meetings, and offer to pay for their time.
- chickenzzzzu 1y agoWhy are skilled people not willing to, in the best case, perform free labor, and in the worst case, expose themselves to multiple physical and non-physical risks?
- jxjnskkzxxhx 1y ago> nerd out about startups I'm not building anything, but I'm happy to "nerd out" about startups. Will you meet me?
- xmonkee 1y agoI don’t know what sort of founder you are or what you are looking for. I have been a founder and am currently an exec at an early stage startup. There is close to zero value in talking to other early stage founders most of the time. I never cared about the “startup scene” because it’s complete irrelevant to my company. Can you get me customers or engineers? That’s all I cared about. I am curious what you hope to get out of these convos.
- nickevante 1y agoSparks of inspiration for both individuals that make both of them collectively better! I agree this is a far cry in today's dog eats dog world driven by inflation and protectionism but Silicon Valley actually flourished because of this very spirit of pay it forward which seem to be missing today :(
- brudgers 1y agoThe startup scene is a business scene. The core value of business scenes is trust and adding business value is the core reason for collaboration. Good luck.
- nickevante 1y agoIf Xerox park had invited Jobs for adding business value we would have never gotten Apple! Spirit of Silicon Valley is to pay it back.
- brudgers 1y agoSilicon Valley is the only place in the world where startup culture is a significant part of the general business culture because it is the only place with the depth of venture capital networks.
- asdf6969 1y agoTry offering money for a consultation. They don’t have any reason to speak to you.
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- segmondy 1y agoI don't want to be sold to, I don't want anyone trying to dump my brain either. Let's say you are a total stranger and wanted to meet with me, there are 2 things that will interest me. 99% my interests. 1% you are doing something amazing. The thing is most people think they are doing something amazing, but most people don't find it so and it doesn't match their interest. Instead of trying to meet folks, put what you are working on out there and let people try to meet you, they will try to if they find it interesting enough.
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- nickevante 1y agoSome of the comments in this thread actually highlight the crux of this issue: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43957010 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43957010
- muzani 1y agoPeople love to talk about themselves and what they're doing. I don't think there's any barrier; if you know the right way to approach these conversations, they'll dump ideas on you. I believe it might be selection bias. Founders who are building things are not joining networking events. I tend to avoid co-working spaces too ever since I realized it's full of the people I block on Facebook. There's people who bounce ideas, and then there's some form of idea tire kicking. They talk about how vibe code is the future and going to change how we live and work, but they have never downloaded an AI IDE. These people are there to kick ideas around all day and they'll pay for a co-working space so they can kick their ideas at strangers and ignore all feedback. It's exhausting and it's possible that you might be viewed as one of those people.
- nickevante 1y agoIMHO Networking events are but marketing and sales events for the sponsors or VCs. We need bring back our modern day version of the Homebrew Computer Club. The one's building amazing things are far and few in between due to lack of mentors in the community and hyper focus on "what's in it for me" mindset.
- muzani 1y agoWe do have some like the Homebrew Computer Club, but not (yet) as elite. Kuala Lumpur has some talent, but not the density of talent. I may join once every two years. Every time I do there's a founder who ends up public listed. One even had enough success rate to become a VC, but it's hard to tell which one will be who. But so far the sales events have had a higher hit rate. There's very talented people joining whatever new thing AWS is launching, or the hackathons. If anything, founders are good at building things. Hackathons are an excuse to experiment with a new tool for some, a sport for others. I think a lot of friendships today are forged in the heat of the hackathons. I met this guy who wanted to build an "AI assistant" with Gemini, which I dismissed as a dumb idea because Google has been building AI assistants for years. But his idea went much deeper than that and he won the hackathon car.
- nothercastle 1y agoYou don’t get to hang out with the cool kids unless you bring something to the table. Looks, money, or influence what’s your currency?
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- pyb 1y agoWhat cities did you go to ? I know of only 2 places for this : SF, and Canggu. I've lived in Paris, London, Cambridge(UK), NYC : there are obviously also founders there, but they're too spread out.
- nickevante 1y agoTL;DR - Learn from each other. Pay it forward. It's not a zero sum game! :)
- impendia 1y agoTake this with a grain of salt, because I'm an academic, not an entrepreneur. That said: when I was younger, being a nerd was uncool. To out yourself as one was to take a social risk, and it makes sense that tight-knit communities formed. These days, entrepreneurship and the tech industry have acquired something of a social cachet -- perhaps because there's boatloads of money in it now. I've read that "geek nights" have attracted a bunch of hangers-on, who like to talk big but haven't necessarily invested their time into learning anything difficult. Whether fairly or not, you're probably being taken for such a person. I've been in an analogous situation, and it sucked. I feel for you. That said, to echo what others have said -- if you're going to try to make cold contacts like this, you probably need to either lead with a specific request, or else approach in such a way that makes it clear that you're bringing something interesting to the table.