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Life really answers that question for you. If you are successful and established, friendship often means obligation. Money, skill, resources and effort are req
by chasil 1y ago
Life really answers that question for you.
If you are successful and established, friendship often means obligation. Money, skill, resources and effort are requested, sometimes politely, sometimes not.
If you are not successful and established, finding someone to engage in this relationship can provide significant advantage.
Some might say "a real friend would not ask such things, what you speak of are fairweather friends."
I would reply, "have you ever found your perfect equal in a friendship?"
I haven't.
https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fair-weather_friend https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fair-weather_friend
- thrownblown 1y agoA real friend will help me fight a gorilla whether there are 100 of us or not
- bluefirebrand 1y agoWhen you say "I could fight that Gorilla on my own no problem", a real friend would say "yeah you definitely could, but I got your back"
- TechDebtDevin 1y agoThe only one who got it lmao.
- N2yhWNXQN3k9 1y ago> have you ever found your perfect equal in a friendship In my experience, if you somehow keep some of your close friends that you had early in life, some of them end up eerily similar to you late in life.
- chasil 1y agoI am working towards being an expatriate in my retirement, so that really isn't an option.
- N2yhWNXQN3k9 1y agoIf you abandon that which cultivated you for other pastures, you probably have more pressing needs or desires than friendship, and I wish you the best of luck.
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- anal_reactor 1y agoOne of my biggest problems is that I'm very good at managing my life on my own, yet my primitive brain keeps screaming "you're alone! this means you might die any moment and nobody will help you!". > I would reply, "have you ever found your perfect equal in a friendship?" I guess the point of friendships is to find people with whom the exchange is fair. As in, I have something they want, they have something I want, we exchange this.
- N2yhWNXQN3k9 1y ago> I have something they want, they have something I want, we exchange this. https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/friendship/ https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/friendship/ https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37750030 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37750030
- galaxyLogic 1y agoYes but what we exchange is "friendship" and "love". We want to feel loved. I assume that has a biological basis. The transactional relationship is a different thing, it is a business relationship. You don't have to be a friend with someone you exchange things with.
- jajko 1y agoAnd with good friend the necessary part to exchange are good times shared together.
- mettamage 1y agoFor me it’s more about vibes. If I find what you say fun, then let’s be friends.
- The28thDuck 1y agoI don’t think it’s about being equal. To think about it selfishly, then we would have nothing to gain from it. Friendship, like many relationships, is about the unique equilibrium struck that makes you both feel and be better, more than if you had just been an individual. It’s about strengthening each others weaknesses. Rising tide lifts all boats
- chasil 1y agoNo, it is not about that. All of our behaviors were ruthlessly selected by evolution in the 60k years since we emerged as a species. The behaviors were never about the individual. We kept them because they reproduced.
- thomquaid 1y agoI think it is about that. Many of the social behaviors didnt evolve individually, and the social behaviors that end up selected for produced tribes. The group can be more fit than the sum of its parts, and both sides benefit from friendship because two people are about three times as strong working together vs the twice as strong you would expect.
- mock-possum 1y agoHonestly man I’m sorry to hear that - and I hope you haven’t given up looking.
- TechDebtDevin 1y agoGuys the question I was referring to, is who would win in a fight. 100 men or one Gorilla......