4 ms·

I'm 50 and my life isn't what I wanted it to be, and now I'm out of time. It sucks.

ladyanita22 1y ago
I don't know what's going on in your specific case but: 1. It's never out of time, for sure. If you want to make a specific change, study the pros/cons and decide whether to do it or not! But you can for sure make the change you want to. 2. Don't fall into the trap of idealizing a life you don't have. The grass is significantly less green than you might think at the other side of the fence.
- treis 1y ago
  I don't think this helps as much as you may think it does. Some things can't be undone once done and they make people's lives much worse.
  - ladyanita22 1y ago
    It may, or may not sound convincing. It's true that some things cannot be undone, and we may feel regret or remorse for them. Still, there's a path for healing and liberation by understanding under which circumstances and which assumptions you took that decission, understanding that sometimes life is hard, and that you're worth it. I don't know this specific case though, and I guess neither do you. If the parent comment wants to come back with some details, I'll reflect on it.
optymizer 1y ago
You know, setting expectations for yourself when you're young for what you want your life to be when you're old is great, but it can be a bit like providing estimates for how long a project will take when you have barely started it. You made an estimate when you had the least amount of information. Now that you have accumulated more information, the most productive course of action is to revise the estimate and work towards to meet that goal.
UncleOxidant 1y ago
Read some Oliver Burkeman.
rixed 1y ago
I believe the only way to be content is to enjoy the fighting. Then, whatever life throw at you, it doesn't really matter. Judging our lives by a set of accomplishments feels artificial when you think about it.
- supportengineer 1y ago
  But everyone around me is accomplished and successful.
  - ponector 1y ago
    My life looks accomplished and successful from the outside, but I'm totally depressed and see no way out. You never know what is the true situation for everyone around you.
  - rixed 1y ago
    Others come in all variety and are all part of the background. The idea is to see life as a solo challenge; Don't compare yourself with others but with that version of you who is not fighting back.
- deleted 1y ago
  [deleted]
Thoreandan 1y ago
Feels. Not gonna blow condescending garbage your way. Your feeling is not unique but not in the majority, and it’s exhausting to hear the ‘have’ ppl with no actual ability to relate jabber on. Hope you can find bits of joy where you can make them.

I don't know what's going on in your specific case but: 1. It's never out of time, for sure. If you want to make a specific change, study the pros/cons and decide whether to do it or not! But you can for sure make the change you want to. 2. Don't fall into the trap of idealizing a life you don't have. The grass is significantly less green than you might think at the other side of the fence.

treis 1y ago
I don't think this helps as much as you may think it does. Some things can't be undone once done and they make people's lives much worse.
- ladyanita22 1y ago
  It may, or may not sound convincing. It's true that some things cannot be undone, and we may feel regret or remorse for them. Still, there's a path for healing and liberation by understanding under which circumstances and which assumptions you took that decission, understanding that sometimes life is hard, and that you're worth it. I don't know this specific case though, and I guess neither do you. If the parent comment wants to come back with some details, I'll reflect on it.

optymizer 1y ago

You know, setting expectations for yourself when you're young for what you want your life to be when you're old is great, but it can be a bit like providing estimates for how long a project will take when you have barely started it. You made an estimate when you had the least amount of information. Now that you have accumulated more information, the most productive course of action is to revise the estimate and work towards to meet that goal.

UncleOxidant 1y ago

Read some Oliver Burkeman.

rixed 1y ago

I believe the only way to be content is to enjoy the fighting. Then, whatever life throw at you, it doesn't really matter. Judging our lives by a set of accomplishments feels artificial when you think about it.

supportengineer 1y ago
But everyone around me is accomplished and successful.
- ponector 1y ago
  My life looks accomplished and successful from the outside, but I'm totally depressed and see no way out. You never know what is the true situation for everyone around you.
- rixed 1y ago
  Others come in all variety and are all part of the background. The idea is to see life as a solo challenge; Don't compare yourself with others but with that version of you who is not fighting back.
deleted 1y ago
[deleted]

Thoreandan 1y ago

Feels. Not gonna blow condescending garbage your way. Your feeling is not unique but not in the majority, and it’s exhausting to hear the ‘have’ ppl with no actual ability to relate jabber on. Hope you can find bits of joy where you can make them.