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I wish this guy the best, but a "technology solution" is not going to be able to address the psychological burden of RSD, nor the executive functioning issues o

by rchaud 1y ago

I wish this guy the best, but a "technology solution" is not going to be able to address the psychological burden of RSD, nor the executive functioning issues of ADHD. An Airtable sheet with a "Mark as Contacted" flag is something a business analyst would come up with after speaking to an person with ADHD. RSD can't be solved 100%. At best, you can give yourself some guidance on how to resume contact with someone: 1) When was the last time I was in touch with this person? 2) How would I rate my relationship with them on a scale of 1-10 -- this is important because in adulthood friendships can fade even if nobody did anything wrong 3) Why do I feel they would not want to hear from me? 4) List 3 light topics of conversation that are low-risk, and choose one to reach out with. That can help reduce the internal resistance, which is a key factor in RSD.

aaronyarborough 1y ago
Hey, I'm this guy :) And I think you're right. The technological solution was semi-serious (though I'm not sure that it came across in the write-up) What I expect to get from it are hopefully new insights on the behaviours I described, not from my dumb Airtable setup, but from just putting _something_ new in to try and break the cycle. While setting it up (and writing this post), I was thinking about the problem in-depth, which is what's really valuable here. Tip #4 on your list might work for me. I'm going to try that next time it comes up. Thanks!
- rchaud 1y ago
  I appreciate your response. I didn't mean to dunk on the idea; it is just that I too defaulted to trying to find the "right app" to fix these things and years later came to realize that tech is too general by design, and struggles to work effectively for such niche use cases. Tech can help provide a reminder, but ultimately can't force us to confront the heart of the issue. And sometimes that confrontation is necessary for us to agree to a new course of action, while accepting that it likely won't be a 100% solution. Good luck to you on your journey!

by rchaud 1y ago

aaronyarborough 1y ago

Hey, I'm this guy :) And I think you're right. The technological solution was semi-serious (though I'm not sure that it came across in the write-up) What I expect to get from it are hopefully new insights on the behaviours I described, not from my dumb Airtable setup, but from just putting _something_ new in to try and break the cycle. While setting it up (and writing this post), I was thinking about the problem in-depth, which is what's really valuable here. Tip #4 on your list might work for me. I'm going to try that next time it comes up. Thanks!

rchaud 1y ago
I appreciate your response. I didn't mean to dunk on the idea; it is just that I too defaulted to trying to find the "right app" to fix these things and years later came to realize that tech is too general by design, and struggles to work effectively for such niche use cases. Tech can help provide a reminder, but ultimately can't force us to confront the heart of the issue. And sometimes that confrontation is necessary for us to agree to a new course of action, while accepting that it likely won't be a 100% solution. Good luck to you on your journey!