I had very risky heart surgery at 3 as a result my memories kick in very early and the stress response meant I developed very early as well, I was doing mental

I had very risky heart surgery at 3 as a result my memories kick in very early and the stress response meant I developed very early as well, I was doing mental math at least a grade before any other kids in pre-school when we'd play around the world, etc. they thought I was magic and my teacher very wisely gave us a problem with larger numbers so that I couldn't mentally follow the problem and I had to resort to finger counting as a placeholder for larger numbers my close friend who couldn't do mental math yet arrived at the answer sooner because his finger game was stronger. At the time, based on my heart defect I wasn't expected to live a full length of life (verdicts still out on that one) By 15 I was working full time in tech. Married to a 25 year old at 18, imminent death and religious upbringing tends to rush things that shouldn't be, I knew myself but I didn't understand her, I didn't understand attachment theory or that my secure attachment style wasn't the only kind and that a person could marry someone for all kinds of bad faith reasons, in her words later "just wasn't really attached to". My parents early deaths bookended my twenties. One thing I've always observed is that I seem to have a very small identity surface area compared to others, more of an identity based on refining my heuristic than any one activity. The identity of exploration and wonder, maybe because that's how children are since everything is so new, maybe my early cognitive awareness locked in that child like trait. I don't think I've changed at all since I was three except for better executive function and emotional control, more patient, less angry, but the project and it's purposes, the knowledge base has increased, the functionality has changed, priors have been tweaked in an append only kind of way, and so I can still rewind to prior states and think in the ways I used to, but so many of the things I believed to be true ended up being clearly false on further examination. Sonder was an early expierence for me, knowing I wouldn't be here long and seeing old men walking across a cross walk knowing that their path would continue long after mine was over. I think if you have sufficient wonder and empathy you can stay connected to all your past states but the less empathy and connection you have I imagine you'd eventually feel disconnected from your past self. I think continuity of self is very heavily tied to how early you start meta cognating and how much cognitive empathy you are capable of, I notice that many people change their mind on an issue and seem to forget they held a prior contrary position previously, but I cherish the uninformed and unexamined beliefs I've had corrected. I'm the same person I always was, which at core isn't much, but I'm really glad I still love and have compassion for all the states I've been throughout life.