3 ms·

> it's very rude to ask questions that aren't superficial What do you count as superficial? I'm nervous around new people and I don't like awkward silences. I

> it's very rude to ask questions that aren't superficial What do you count as superficial? I'm nervous around new people and I don't like awkward silences. I'm also curious so I tend to ask a lot. I usually ask about their job or things they like to do. I always find something I'm genuinely curious about in relation to what they say, and so I ask about that. I'll leave some room for them to drive the conversation, but if the awkward silence creeps back in I ask some more. So am I asking superficial questions when it comes to details about forest management, running a book store or getting a single-engine pilots license that I'm genuinely curious about? I feel like there's some levels between chitchat about the weather and deep personal issues.

JohnFen 2y ago
> What do you count as superficial? I mean things that aren't personal information they aren't already publicly talking about. > I usually ask about their job or things they like to do. While I personally think that asking what a person does for a living is too intrusive, it's a culturally acceptable question so it gets a pass. "What do you do for fun?" is a reasonably innocuous question, in my opinion. > So am I asking superficial questions when it comes to details about forest management, running a book store or getting a single-engine pilots license that I'm genuinely curious about? Yes, in this context, because those aren't questions asking the person to divulge personal information.
- magicalhippo 2y ago
  > "What do you do for fun?" is a reasonably innocuous question, in my opinion. To be fair, I usually try not to ask explicitly what people do for a living. I try to frame it more open than that, keeping in mind not all people can work and such. > Yes, in this context, because those aren't questions asking the person to divulge personal information. Fair enough. My experience is that I've received positive feedback from others, see my other reply, which is not something I would associate with superficial talk. But it certainly isn't deeply personal stuff, I don't want to go there unless they volunteer.

JohnFen 2y ago

> What do you count as superficial? I mean things that aren't personal information they aren't already publicly talking about. > I usually ask about their job or things they like to do. While I personally think that asking what a person does for a living is too intrusive, it's a culturally acceptable question so it gets a pass. "What do you do for fun?" is a reasonably innocuous question, in my opinion. > So am I asking superficial questions when it comes to details about forest management, running a book store or getting a single-engine pilots license that I'm genuinely curious about? Yes, in this context, because those aren't questions asking the person to divulge personal information.

magicalhippo 2y ago
> "What do you do for fun?" is a reasonably innocuous question, in my opinion. To be fair, I usually try not to ask explicitly what people do for a living. I try to frame it more open than that, keeping in mind not all people can work and such. > Yes, in this context, because those aren't questions asking the person to divulge personal information. Fair enough. My experience is that I've received positive feedback from others, see my other reply, which is not something I would associate with superficial talk. But it certainly isn't deeply personal stuff, I don't want to go there unless they volunteer.