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> They feel they’ve succeeded. I have felt the same. > I don’t understand the hostility In English we have the saying, "to speak to someone like a Dutch uncl

> They feel they’ve succeeded. I have felt the same. > I don’t understand the hostility In English we have the saying, "to speak to someone like a Dutch uncle." There is no hostility in the absence of coddling, and I have been nearly homeless and nearly dead in consequence of assumptions strongly resembling those I see and criticize. I have recovered and am well. My concern is that my interlocutor, I hope, be warned against what I strongly believe I recognize, as very much akin to what was once my own hubris.

bluefirebrand 1y ago
> I have been nearly homeless I have been actually homeless > I have recovered and am well. Very glad to hear that. Same here > I strongly believe I recognize, as very much akin to what was once my own hubris Makes sense why you reacted the way you did then. Sounds like I hit close to home.
- throwanem 1y ago
  I wouldn't put it quite that way. My mistakes were much more often in trusting to excess and taking too much at face value. I am lately recalibrating. I'm glad to hear we both can say we've overcome it. Keep on not fuckin' up.
circlefavshape 1y ago
> In English we have the saying, "to speak to someone like a Dutch uncle." Do we? What does it mean?
- throwanem 1y ago
  We do! It means to give advice in rough or harsh fashion, either with the intent of bracing one's interlocutor to attend the advice given, or simply for not caring at all to soft-pedal or sugarcoat. This is actually one of a small class of now somewhat archaic English epithets. I believe the most common survivor is "going Dutch" or "Dutch treat," which was current if slightly oldfashioned as recently as my now three decades gone childhood. That refers to a date or other group event wherein everyone pays their own way, with the heavy implication that whoever made such an invitation (or surprised their party with the news!) is a cheapskate jerk for not at least offering pro forma also to cover the tab. None of these 'Dutch' expressions ("Dutch courage," for alcohol, is another I've seen in live use) is complimentary in original intent, because they date from some dreary war or other in the 1600s that I believe the English lost. More at Wiktionary and, from there, Wikipedia: https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Dutch_uncle https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Dutch_uncle

bluefirebrand 1y ago

> I have been nearly homeless I have been actually homeless > I have recovered and am well. Very glad to hear that. Same here > I strongly believe I recognize, as very much akin to what was once my own hubris Makes sense why you reacted the way you did then. Sounds like I hit close to home.

throwanem 1y ago
I wouldn't put it quite that way. My mistakes were much more often in trusting to excess and taking too much at face value. I am lately recalibrating. I'm glad to hear we both can say we've overcome it. Keep on not fuckin' up.

circlefavshape 1y ago

> In English we have the saying, "to speak to someone like a Dutch uncle." Do we? What does it mean?

throwanem 1y ago
We do! It means to give advice in rough or harsh fashion, either with the intent of bracing one's interlocutor to attend the advice given, or simply for not caring at all to soft-pedal or sugarcoat. This is actually one of a small class of now somewhat archaic English epithets. I believe the most common survivor is "going Dutch" or "Dutch treat," which was current if slightly oldfashioned as recently as my now three decades gone childhood. That refers to a date or other group event wherein everyone pays their own way, with the heavy implication that whoever made such an invitation (or surprised their party with the news!) is a cheapskate jerk for not at least offering pro forma also to cover the tab. None of these 'Dutch' expressions ("Dutch courage," for alcohol, is another I've seen in live use) is complimentary in original intent, because they date from some dreary war or other in the 1600s that I believe the English lost. More at Wiktionary and, from there, Wikipedia: https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Dutch_uncle https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Dutch_uncle