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> If somebody doesn’t share without being asked, it doesn’t mean they’re not up for sharing. Isn't the issue a little different? That it makes it look like tha
by creer 1y ago
> If somebody doesn’t share without being asked, it doesn’t mean they’re not up for sharing.
Isn't the issue a little different? That it makes it look like that they have no interest in you? If the "conversation" is a journalistic or learning stream of questions then fine. But if the conversation is more social (from friendship, getting to know a little about each other, all the way to gauging hiring interest), then "no interest" is a strong signal to move on. There are other ways to express interest than asking back, but "not expressing interest" is an obstacle.
Agree with you that "drive you crazy" is yet another issue. For most this would be just a figure of speech.
- 47282847 1y agoIt is up to you to interpret it as a “signal to move on“ or not. You may be right, but you may also be totally wrong with your interpretation. It’s not a definitive signal nor means they are not “expressing interest“. You may simply not see their way of expressing interest.
- creer 1y agoWe decide (interpret) based on the information we get. Those are the breaks. Of course we may be wrong. We may be wrong either way. The question might be what can we do to get a better signal. And everyone here would love suggestions.
- 47282847 1y agoShare your thoughts. Ask and you will know. Or don’t, and move on, knowing that you don’t know, without the need to judge the other. There is no reason to “drive yourself crazy“ with your thoughts. We all make assumptions, and then we can communicate about them to validate. It is turning your assumptions into insinuation without actually giving the other the benefit of the doubt that creates communication mismatch, not the assumption itself. (“Their behavior must mean that they are not interested, and the only way to address this requires them to adopt to what is right for me.“)