Maybe the issue is that we these various forms of smalltalk are all disingenuous. Or rather, they're idioms that don't directly say what you really mean. E.g.

Maybe the issue is that we these various forms of smalltalk are all disingenuous. Or rather, they're idioms that don't directly say what you really mean. E.g.: "I'm looking for friends, and you seem like we might get along." "I find you attractive and I'd like to see if you feel the same way about me." "I'm lonely, and I'm looking to interact with someone for a bit to ease the pain." Etc. Reminds me of the lyrics from that Louis Armstrong song, "What a Wonderful World".