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Indeed it is extreme privilege and lack of adversity that would allow "who do I want to be" to be the dominant driver of personality. Most people have to amputa

Indeed it is extreme privilege and lack of adversity that would allow "who do I want to be" to be the dominant driver of personality. Most people have to amputate parts of themselves and go actively against their identity everyday to make modern ends meet. This is the basis of "Dysphoria" and cognitive dissonance when talking about the focus on identity

bluefirebrand 1y ago
Adversity is what drove me, not what held me back I was bullied relentlessly in elementary school, I got into fistfights constantly My family didn't have a ton of money, we were very blue collar. My dad worked his way up to manager at a tool store. I am not some guy who went to an ivy league. I took student loans just to attend a local community college because I could not afford to relocate to a good university even though I had the grades. I just didn't have scholarship tier grades. I wasn't getting a free ride anywhere I had some privileges, for sure. Having a loving family that supported me is a big one. Having the intelligence and just enough work ethic to be successful in school. But man, I worked evenings in fast food jobs during high school to afford a car because my family absolutely could not afford to buy me even a clunker Edit: And I needed this car desperately, because there was no nearby transit I could use to eventually get to college, nevermind getting to other, slightly better part time jobs Like there's privilege, I acknowledge but maybe dial it back from "extreme privilege"?
- asacrowflies 1y ago
  You are the one who said top 3% earner. I didn't mean it disparaging, but you were coming across as a bit "let them eat cake" most people concerned with identity because it's an everyday struggle to make identity fit reality and most people have way too much to lose to risk rocking the boat . So you die a thousand little deaths everyday so you can no eat and pay bills then have a rich guy online post your comment lol . Not to minimize but most of your adversity is "normal" almost everyone has had these struggles and they are also easily paved over with money. Also telling how it is all past tense. you described a normal "middle class " childhood through the economic collapse of the 2000s.
  - bluefirebrand 1y ago
    > You are the one who said top 3% earner. I didn't mean it disparaging, but you were coming across as a bit "let them eat cake" I can see why you would get that impression, but what do you want from me here? From my perspective I have worked very hard to get to this place For context, I started out 15ish years ago making ~28k USD/year as a junior software dev. I suspect this is pretty low for most people on this forum, even as a junior? Now I make ~98k USD as a senior software dev, 15 years later. I suspect that is much lower than "top 3% of earners in Canada" sounded like? Edit: For context this would 'only' put me in the top 13% of American earners. I suspect many people on this forum do much better than I do, and the top 3% of American earners make my income look like a joke I don't think I fit the archetype of "rich guy posting online" that you have projected on me. I do really well for myself yes, within my country and within my context, but I'm not exactly the Bezos of Canada. > most people concerned with identity because it's an everyday struggle to make identity fit reality and most people have way too much to lose to risk rocking the boat It is way harder to make reality fit your identity than it is to modify your identity to fit reality > Also telling how it is all past tense. you described a normal "middle class " childhood through the economic collapse of the 2000s By strict definition it was lower class, not middle class. But yes, lower class in the 90s and 00s was much more comfortable than it is today, you're right about that
    - asacrowflies 1y ago
      I guess we just have different definitions of "low class" your "starter job" at 28k would have been obscenely rich to me growing up with a single mother on disability with 4 kids making 12k a year and a 2000$ asset limit. Completely separate from the 90s boom. Again not to be rude but you very much ARE a rich guy posting online with rather decadent privilege going off how it's just people being fed "identity nonsense" is harmful to them. It's is another common rich guy defense mechanism to say well since I'm not bezos himself it's fine! That doesn't really assuage my point at all.

bluefirebrand 1y ago

Adversity is what drove me, not what held me back I was bullied relentlessly in elementary school, I got into fistfights constantly My family didn't have a ton of money, we were very blue collar. My dad worked his way up to manager at a tool store. I am not some guy who went to an ivy league. I took student loans just to attend a local community college because I could not afford to relocate to a good university even though I had the grades. I just didn't have scholarship tier grades. I wasn't getting a free ride anywhere I had some privileges, for sure. Having a loving family that supported me is a big one. Having the intelligence and just enough work ethic to be successful in school. But man, I worked evenings in fast food jobs during high school to afford a car because my family absolutely could not afford to buy me even a clunker Edit: And I needed this car desperately, because there was no nearby transit I could use to eventually get to college, nevermind getting to other, slightly better part time jobs Like there's privilege, I acknowledge but maybe dial it back from "extreme privilege"?

asacrowflies 1y ago
You are the one who said top 3% earner. I didn't mean it disparaging, but you were coming across as a bit "let them eat cake" most people concerned with identity because it's an everyday struggle to make identity fit reality and most people have way too much to lose to risk rocking the boat . So you die a thousand little deaths everyday so you can no eat and pay bills then have a rich guy online post your comment lol . Not to minimize but most of your adversity is "normal" almost everyone has had these struggles and they are also easily paved over with money. Also telling how it is all past tense. you described a normal "middle class " childhood through the economic collapse of the 2000s.
- bluefirebrand 1y ago
  > You are the one who said top 3% earner. I didn't mean it disparaging, but you were coming across as a bit "let them eat cake" I can see why you would get that impression, but what do you want from me here? From my perspective I have worked very hard to get to this place For context, I started out 15ish years ago making ~28k USD/year as a junior software dev. I suspect this is pretty low for most people on this forum, even as a junior? Now I make ~98k USD as a senior software dev, 15 years later. I suspect that is much lower than "top 3% of earners in Canada" sounded like? Edit: For context this would 'only' put me in the top 13% of American earners. I suspect many people on this forum do much better than I do, and the top 3% of American earners make my income look like a joke I don't think I fit the archetype of "rich guy posting online" that you have projected on me. I do really well for myself yes, within my country and within my context, but I'm not exactly the Bezos of Canada. > most people concerned with identity because it's an everyday struggle to make identity fit reality and most people have way too much to lose to risk rocking the boat It is way harder to make reality fit your identity than it is to modify your identity to fit reality > Also telling how it is all past tense. you described a normal "middle class " childhood through the economic collapse of the 2000s By strict definition it was lower class, not middle class. But yes, lower class in the 90s and 00s was much more comfortable than it is today, you're right about that
  - asacrowflies 1y ago
    I guess we just have different definitions of "low class" your "starter job" at 28k would have been obscenely rich to me growing up with a single mother on disability with 4 kids making 12k a year and a 2000$ asset limit. Completely separate from the 90s boom. Again not to be rude but you very much ARE a rich guy posting online with rather decadent privilege going off how it's just people being fed "identity nonsense" is harmful to them. It's is another common rich guy defense mechanism to say well since I'm not bezos himself it's fine! That doesn't really assuage my point at all.