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I wonder how much the polarization of politics contributes to this. I have friends on opposite sides of the political spectrum than me, but were able to basical
by sylens 1y ago
I wonder how much the polarization of politics contributes to this. I have friends on opposite sides of the political spectrum than me, but were able to basically segment off that area of discussion to enjoy each others company in other areas. It may be because we go back 20+ years with many shared experiences. I would guess many friendships do not have that level of bedrock to ground them, so developments like the recent political climate can easily uproot them
- scarface_74 1y agoIt’s one thing when being on different sides of the political spectrum meant disagreeing about supply side economics. It’s another when it means they are racist, homophobic, etc. I have a friend who on one hand believes all of the anti-vax, evil illegal immigrate stuff and might even believe that Trump’s tariffs are okay. But on the other hand, I have never heard him say anything negative about other people, cultures, sexualities etc. I consider him a good friend. On the other hand, there was this other guy I was friends with for awhile. He became full MAGA. It got to the point where I just couldn’t deal with him anymore. I guess the people I won’t deal with or Trump conservatives (ie populists). I’m good with traditional conservatives we can usually even have polite intellectual conversations about politics.
- NemoNobody 1y agoI think if you push your friend, specifically on the trans argument, you might learn something about him. I'm not sure how anyone could believe immigrants are intrinsically bad without racism tbh.
- scarface_74 1y agoIllegal immigration is what he is opposed to. It’s relatively easy for someone to understand just by taking a slight step back out of their world view why a man may be attracted to another man or a woman may be a attracted to another woman or someone may be attracted to both sexes. But trans goes against everything they know about science. And even for those who are very much “let you do you” thinks it’s a bridge too far to have biological men in women’s sports. This is a bridge too far for even me (yes I know it’s an unpopular opinion) and I’m a “f*! the police”,BLM, universal healthcare, free college education, religious skeptical, increase the safety net and lean liberal
- 01HNNWZ0MV43FF 1y agoAre you okay with me living as a woman as long as I promise not to play any professional sports? :P
- scarface_74 1y agoYep. I would call you by your preferred name and pronoun and fight anyone who discriminated against your ability to get a job, a passport, etc.
- deleted 1y ago[deleted]
- ryandrake 1y agoI've found it's generally not worth it to push the discussion when it comes to politics. People will just dig in and there goes the friendship. I'm (apparently, or so I'm told) a flaming lefty lib, who recently moved out of the Bay Area to a very "red" part of California. If I limited my friends to only people like me politically, I'd have to be a hermit. I basically take it as given that any new person I strike up a conversation with will not agree with my politics, so I just don't bring it up. Most of my friends got the hint clearly when they brought some of their Trump shit up and I immediately steered the conversation away. We have a good understanding--let's talk about positive things we have in common: hobbies, beer, cars, whatever. Don't bring up politics or religion, and you can make friends with anyone! Some of them just can't bear to live even a few minutes without talking about their politics at every possible moment, and they're just not friends anymore.
- 01HNNWZ0MV43FF 1y agoThat must be where we differ. I don't want friends who vote for Republicans. I am trans so I have less choice. It's my head on the chopping block once they get bored of hurting immigrants
- xvokcarts 1y agoI think it's the mass immigrations that (some) people are calling out as not in their own best interest, without necessarily believing the immigrants are bad or in any way worse humans than themselves to call it racist.
- zeroonetwothree 1y agoPeople certainly seem to be much pickier the past few years about only being friends with those that have matching political views. I try to avoid political discussions for this reason... though as someone that doesn't belong to either "camp" it's easy enough for me to find common ground with both sides on some issues so I can chat in a way that avoids major conflict.
- __MatrixMan__ 1y agoI don't think the polarization merely contributes to these divisions, I'd say it's the whole point. It's easy to steer a democracy when 50% won't talk to the other 50%. Much more difficult if they occasionally agree on something.
- alganet 1y agoWhat does the betta fish mirror has to do with anything regarding friendship?
- __MatrixMan__ 1y agoI'm not sure I follow the metaphor. You can use a mirror to cause stress to one betta fish, but it seems like there would need to be more than just one fish and a mirror to capture this. I'm talking about the political machine working to ensure that 50% of voters are not friends with the other 50%.
- alganet 1y agoI am asking what it has to do with friendship, implying that it has nothing to do with it. Unless... (now you complete my sentence either by denial, confirmation or deflection)
- __MatrixMan__ 1y agoUhh, nothing I guess. You need two fish for friendship (nevermind that bettas are too aggressive for that). With a fish and a mirror you only have one fish.
- alganet 1y agoFor friendship you need someone who doesn't talk like that. Once you have been exposed to this kind of paranoid thinking, there is no way of building relationships of any kind anymore. It is like a spiritual death. What is the bubble? The world of friends and healthy relationships, or the cold shitty place with cultural wars and divides everywhere? If you bring someone to the shitty place, you better have the guts to acknowledge that that person will never, ever see friendship anywhere.