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Here's my longer reply. First of all Daniel, college won't solve your problem. In fact, don't rely on any external factor to solve your problem (such as transf
by jaytee_clone 18y ago
Here's my longer reply.
First of all Daniel, college won't solve your problem. In fact, don't rely on any external factor to solve your problem (such as transferring to a "more interesting" school). It's all you.
I used to (and still do sometimes) have the same problem as yours, which is thinking that a lot of people are not interesting. This is simply not true, because if I end up spending more time with that person, I would usually change my mind.
What we are experiencing is a typical out-group mentality. It's a human instinct to be on the defensive when we first meet someone not in our tribe, because he can potentially be a spy from another tribe who plans to destroy our tribe.
This simply doesn't apply in the modern days, but we still have that emotion leftover from evolution. Being an emotion means you really have no control over it, you might even make up reasons for your behavior such as "oh this person is just not interesting." It's a known fact, that emotion is felt first and then re-interpreted by your brain. (Check out books on neuroscience and evolutionary psychology, if you want to learn more.)
However your brain can be retrained, just like how you can re-train someone who stutters. Believe me, the latter one is a lot harder to do.
This is what you can do to re-train yourself:
1. Get out of your house (exercise if you don't already)
2. Meet five strangers everyday (any age group is fine)
3. You goal is not to make friends. You goal is to make them laugh five times in twenty minutes
4. Keep a log of the people you meet and write down one thing interesting about each one. (Don't write "not interesting". There's always something interesting.)
5. Keep doing this for at least a month
Making friends is about giving, not taking. I can be the most boring person in the world if I don't want to be friends with you. So give me a reason to be interesting. Make me laugh and I will be interesting. If I'm still not interesting by then, you are having a good time, so what does it matter.
Eventually you'd want to do what SwellJoe has suggested, start a band, start a club, be a leader. Leader gives tons of value to the group, that's why people follow him (and be friends with him).
So, stop thinking, Daniel. Turn off your computer, get out and meet someone right now.
P.S. If you are interested in these kinds of networking/entrepreneurial training, I'm writing a series of blog posts on this topic.