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That was exactly my sentiment. My parents pushed me hard to do piano when I was around 10-12. After a year that went pretty well I was starting to get lazy and

That was exactly my sentiment. My parents pushed me hard to do piano when I was around 10-12. After a year that went pretty well I was starting to get lazy and put very little work and investment into preparing for the next lesson. They still had me play piano a full year until they eventually gave up and bitterly told me what a waste my resignation felt to them. 20 years later, I got back to playing piano, and I can't thank my parent enough for having me to continue playing in my teenage years. Because it only took me a few month to be able to play pretty advanced piano sheets compared to some of my relatives who are struggling with the basics starting it in their adulthood. Same for maths. I feel that a lot of people like the author of this blog post are being extremely misdirected thinking math can and should be taught in a fun or amusing manner every time. Sure, a lot of topics in Maths can be made more digestible by "gameification" to help younglings develop an intuition. But a very big part of Maths actually requires you to sit down and painstakingly crunch down the numbers/equations, memorize and learn when to apply the correct methods to solve some problems. And even though this part can feel fun and engaging after a while, you can't expect children to exhibit such interest right of the bat without having them first struggle with the classics. Kids don't know better. Your role as a parent is to navigate along the fine line of forcing your kid to get good exposure to the (boring) activities we adults value and letting him enjoy what he enjoys. Only in doing that will your kid open up to the world and grow up into a functional human being.

kstenerud 1y ago
My parents forced me to play piano, right up until I told them that I'll destroy our piano if they don't lay off, and any consequences they could think of would not stop me (I was normally an obedient child, but enough was enough). That got their attention. 30 years later I picked up classical guitar and loved it! Do I thank my parents for forcing the piano on me? Hell no.
- hilbert42 1y ago
  Your experience is the antithesis of mine, I wonder why people are so different.
- cpursley 1y ago
  Like I commented in another post, piano gave you the foundation for learning classical guitar (and appreciating that genre of music). Very few guitar players can even recognize note names on a staff. You’re not going to get far with classical guitar without it.
  - danenania 1y ago
    Unless you plan to be a professional musician, why does it matter if you “get far”? Isn’t it supposed to be for fun?
    - cpursley 1y ago
      Because eventually you plateau without proper foundations, and that's not fun.
      - danenania 1y ago
        Does it matter if you “plateau” at a hobby? I have lots of hobbies and skills I’ve learned then plateaued at. It doesn’t bother me in the least.
        cpursley 1y ago
        Yes, it’s been very frustrating because there’s things (songs, techniques) that are beyond my reach at the moment due to large gaps.
        danenania 1y ago
        I get that. It’s satisfying to overcome those hurdles and frustrating to be blocked. Speaking for myself though, if I find I’m getting really frustrated by something that I’m supposedly doing for fun, it’s a sign that I might not be approaching it in the best way psychologically. I’m usually much happier when I try to have more of a zen ‘putting in the reps’ mindset. Then the periods of progress are like icing on the cake, not something I need to enjoy the thing.
hilbert42 1y ago
"20 years later, I got back to playing piano, and I can't thank my parent enough for having me to continue playing in my teenage years." One of the tragedies of being young is that few have the insight to realize that the 'boring' stuff parents and teachers are forcing us to learn will actually benefit us and that eventually we'll be very thankful that they did. My parents nagged me all the time about studying and even though I did my fair share of it I never fully appreciated how important it was until much later. It's a strange phenomenon, one cognitively understands the reasons but one is isolated from the reality so one is somewhat distant from it. For example, one can get upset watching war footage on TV but being there is on another level altogether (soldiers often do not talk of their experiences because they know those at home will never fully understand). In the same way, wisdom gained through experience is almost impossible to impart to a younger generation who has no actual experience.
- ho_schi 1y ago
  I upvoted all of the above posts because - all of them share some correct arguments. * Training is hard. * Using your training e.g. a bicycle race is fun. * Training is easier, if you actually know why you’re doing it and recognize some progress.
- tasuki 1y ago
  > One of the tragedies of being young is that few have the insight to realize that the 'boring' stuff parents and teachers are forcing us to learn will actually benefit us and that eventually we'll be very thankful that they did. I'm 40. I don't know, perhaps I'm still young. I did not appreciate having to learn the boring parts. Learning things for the next exam so as to forget them in two weeks... I didn't see the point then and still don't. I managed to get by with the minimum possible, fluked my CS education, then had a career earning an order of magnitude more than the average salary. Shrug. Maybe I'm missing something else because of my lack of education? I don't know...
  - hilbert42 1y ago
    "…perhaps I'm still young." Possibly so, wisdom often take years to gel and often only after life events force its notions to the fore.
gizmondo 1y ago
> I can't thank my parent enough for having me to continue playing in my teenage years. Counter-example to anyone reading this and thinking about imposing this misery on their child - I absolutely hated piano lessons, and nowadays I absolutely hate that my parents forced me to do it. Total waste of time, even spending more time on Civilization or whatever instead would've been more valuable to me.
wanderingbort 1y ago
I’m happy that there was overlap between what your parents put in front of you and what you found passion in later in life. I think that story happens to many but I cannot accept a premise that it is somehow universal. The passions I found later in life were unrelated to what my parents put in front of me. I suspect that it’s because the activities I eventually found (distance running, volleyball, cooking) were not activities that my parents enjoyed or thought much about. Moreover, I was unable to develop healthy models of internal motivation until mid life. I didn’t have to when the “why” was covered by my parents. Childhood should be the lowest risk time in life for people to learn to fail and find the path back to success. This is what I worry about as a parent when I try to set my kids up for future success. I want them to fail now. I see my role as a parent as coaching them to care about how they spend their time and how to recover from disappointment and failure. If they get that, then learning piano later in life is just work. They won’t be afraid of that.
apwell23 1y ago
> "Because it only took me a few month to be able to play pretty advanced piano sheets compared to some of my relatives who are struggling with the basics starting it in their adulthood." I don't get it. you'll be a beginner in something that you weren't pushed to in your childhood. so what? are you planning to only do things you were pushed to as a child? I learnt skiing in mid 30s , never even saw snow as a child. Its my fav thing to do all winter and spent like 40 days a season on snow. Not sure if i would've enjoyed it the same if i was "pushed" skiing as a child and hated it.

kstenerud 1y ago

My parents forced me to play piano, right up until I told them that I'll destroy our piano if they don't lay off, and any consequences they could think of would not stop me (I was normally an obedient child, but enough was enough). That got their attention. 30 years later I picked up classical guitar and loved it! Do I thank my parents for forcing the piano on me? Hell no.

hilbert42 1y ago
Your experience is the antithesis of mine, I wonder why people are so different.
cpursley 1y ago
Like I commented in another post, piano gave you the foundation for learning classical guitar (and appreciating that genre of music). Very few guitar players can even recognize note names on a staff. You’re not going to get far with classical guitar without it.
- danenania 1y ago
  Unless you plan to be a professional musician, why does it matter if you “get far”? Isn’t it supposed to be for fun?
  - cpursley 1y ago
    Because eventually you plateau without proper foundations, and that's not fun.
    - danenania 1y ago
      Does it matter if you “plateau” at a hobby? I have lots of hobbies and skills I’ve learned then plateaued at. It doesn’t bother me in the least.
      - cpursley 1y ago
        Yes, it’s been very frustrating because there’s things (songs, techniques) that are beyond my reach at the moment due to large gaps.
        danenania 1y ago
        I get that. It’s satisfying to overcome those hurdles and frustrating to be blocked. Speaking for myself though, if I find I’m getting really frustrated by something that I’m supposedly doing for fun, it’s a sign that I might not be approaching it in the best way psychologically. I’m usually much happier when I try to have more of a zen ‘putting in the reps’ mindset. Then the periods of progress are like icing on the cake, not something I need to enjoy the thing.

hilbert42 1y ago

"20 years later, I got back to playing piano, and I can't thank my parent enough for having me to continue playing in my teenage years." One of the tragedies of being young is that few have the insight to realize that the 'boring' stuff parents and teachers are forcing us to learn will actually benefit us and that eventually we'll be very thankful that they did. My parents nagged me all the time about studying and even though I did my fair share of it I never fully appreciated how important it was until much later. It's a strange phenomenon, one cognitively understands the reasons but one is isolated from the reality so one is somewhat distant from it. For example, one can get upset watching war footage on TV but being there is on another level altogether (soldiers often do not talk of their experiences because they know those at home will never fully understand). In the same way, wisdom gained through experience is almost impossible to impart to a younger generation who has no actual experience.

ho_schi 1y ago
I upvoted all of the above posts because - all of them share some correct arguments. * Training is hard. * Using your training e.g. a bicycle race is fun. * Training is easier, if you actually know why you’re doing it and recognize some progress.
tasuki 1y ago
> One of the tragedies of being young is that few have the insight to realize that the 'boring' stuff parents and teachers are forcing us to learn will actually benefit us and that eventually we'll be very thankful that they did. I'm 40. I don't know, perhaps I'm still young. I did not appreciate having to learn the boring parts. Learning things for the next exam so as to forget them in two weeks... I didn't see the point then and still don't. I managed to get by with the minimum possible, fluked my CS education, then had a career earning an order of magnitude more than the average salary. Shrug. Maybe I'm missing something else because of my lack of education? I don't know...
- hilbert42 1y ago
  "…perhaps I'm still young." Possibly so, wisdom often take years to gel and often only after life events force its notions to the fore.

gizmondo 1y ago

> I can't thank my parent enough for having me to continue playing in my teenage years. Counter-example to anyone reading this and thinking about imposing this misery on their child - I absolutely hated piano lessons, and nowadays I absolutely hate that my parents forced me to do it. Total waste of time, even spending more time on Civilization or whatever instead would've been more valuable to me.

wanderingbort 1y ago

I’m happy that there was overlap between what your parents put in front of you and what you found passion in later in life. I think that story happens to many but I cannot accept a premise that it is somehow universal. The passions I found later in life were unrelated to what my parents put in front of me. I suspect that it’s because the activities I eventually found (distance running, volleyball, cooking) were not activities that my parents enjoyed or thought much about. Moreover, I was unable to develop healthy models of internal motivation until mid life. I didn’t have to when the “why” was covered by my parents. Childhood should be the lowest risk time in life for people to learn to fail and find the path back to success. This is what I worry about as a parent when I try to set my kids up for future success. I want them to fail now. I see my role as a parent as coaching them to care about how they spend their time and how to recover from disappointment and failure. If they get that, then learning piano later in life is just work. They won’t be afraid of that.

apwell23 1y ago

> "Because it only took me a few month to be able to play pretty advanced piano sheets compared to some of my relatives who are struggling with the basics starting it in their adulthood." I don't get it. you'll be a beginner in something that you weren't pushed to in your childhood. so what? are you planning to only do things you were pushed to as a child? I learnt skiing in mid 30s , never even saw snow as a child. Its my fav thing to do all winter and spent like 40 days a season on snow. Not sure if i would've enjoyed it the same if i was "pushed" skiing as a child and hated it.