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I was thinking of posting a question very similar to this one, though the details of my situation are pretty different. See, I've been alone for most of my lif
by rkts 18y ago
I was thinking of posting a question very similar to this one, though the details of my situation are pretty different.
See, I've been alone for most of my life. Alone in the sense that I've only ever had two or three real friends, and I often go for weeks without having a conversation with another person.
As a kid I was fine with this. I was the guy who always sat by himself during lunch and recess, and nobody bothered me and I felt fine. I stayed the same until my senior year of high school, when I was struck by a burning need to make friends, meet girls and stop being alone all the damn time. I made some friends that year, but we were high school seniors, so we all moved off to college and I never heard from them again.
Now I'm in my third year of college, I have no friends and I can't believe how hard it is to meet people. Though I guess the problem isn't meeting people specifically, but getting the acquaintances I make to turn into friendships. I just don't seem to really click with anyone.
"You should join an organization for something you're into!" Well, I've looked but 90% of the organizations I see are racial, religious or political, and the rest just don't interest me. If I could find, say, an OCaml or Lisp programmers group, or an early music society, I'd be thrilled, but of course there isn't one. Maybe I'm just a narrow person, I don't know.
Hmm... I'm not sure now why I'm posting this, but I typed it so what the hell. submit
- nazgulnarsil 18y agohow about a board game club? find an empty classroom you can use and start one.
- RK 18y agoOr the Lisp, OCaml, or early music clubs...
- zupatol 18y agoDont blame this on yourself, it has nothing to do with being narrow. There's something broken about the whole of society. One american in four has no one to really talk to. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/22/AR2006062201763_pf.html http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06... Loneliness does have the effect of making it harder to connect with other people. It has this effect on everyone. It goes away when you're no longer lonely, but it makes it more difficult to get rid of the loneliness. There is no easy solution either. The only thing you can do is try harder. Maybe you need to know people better or get used to them before it 'clicks'. If joining an organization is the only way you see to meet people regularly, join an organization.
- rodrigo 18y agoYou're being narrow. Of course we all want people like us to talk with, but thats not the rigth attitude. Just talk with someone, try to find whats interesting about them, place yourself in his/her shoes and try to see what makes them tickle and then talk about it, youll find that you can almost always learn something.
- asdflkj 18y agoSure, you can learn something, but will that something be worth the effort? That's the $64k question here, and I believe the answer for most people is "no." Being alone sucks, but before you kill the pain with the companionship of idiots, you should ask if the cure is worse than the disease. Looking back, I regret time spent on idiots a lot more than time spent alone. YMMV, of course.
- anthonyrubin 18y agoWhat area do you live in? There are many more special interest groups in large cities. For instance there is talk of starting a Scala group here (Chicago) and there is already a Lisp group and a Polyglot Programmers group.