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Nicely done SteliE. I particularly enjoyed the part towards the end where you discovered meditation was a useful tool. I discovered the same thing a couple year

Nicely done SteliE. I particularly enjoyed the part towards the end where you discovered meditation was a useful tool. I discovered the same thing a couple years ago; recently, I haven't been meditating enough. The value of it being able to clear all the things from your mind and to try hard to just exist without everything else is extremely calming and, in my opinion, necessary. I really need to start doing it again and you've inspired me to start. Being happy is the only thing that really matters at the end of the day. Thanks for sharing.

ak39 14y ago
While I would agree that meditation helps to introspect and obtain perspective, I don't think that aiming for happiness (of itself) is meaningful at all. Yikes, I meant ... you cannot pursue happiness for happiness' sake. It's a byproduct of living. Happiness is an oblique outcome of being - of existing. I like what Robert Oppenheimer wrote to his brother Frank in one of his letters: "Everyone wants rather to be pleasing to women and that desire is not altogether, though it is very largely, a manifestation of vanity. But one cannot aim to be pleasing to women any more than one can aim to have taste, or beauty of expression, or happiness; for these things are not specific aims which one may learn to attain; they are descriptions of the adequacy of one's living. To try to be happy is to try to build a machine with no other specification than that it shall run noiselessly." ~ Robert Oppenheimer
- macey 14y ago
  Interesting point. Though I have to interject that the origin of happiness is so different from person to person that it is sort of silly to make any kind of generalization. In fact, I've read longitudinal studies on happiness that conclude that a person's happiness remains relatively static throughout their life, which provides substantial evidence for happiness being the result of genetics and temperament. Still, as far as I'm concerned, there's no good argument against aiming to understand what makes you feel happy and fulfilled, and keeping that magic thing in the forefront of your goals forever.
  - jaekwon 14y ago
    Or, it's evidence that the simple idea that happiness can be exercised and controlled, is unbelievable. And evidently some of us find it unbelievable. But what if it is true? It would imply an introspecting mind that is consciously quantifying his/her state of being, maybe aided by meditation. Can you really calculate your way to happiness or success? I'm beginning to think that the answer is yes. * Companies are using iDoneThis to quantify their work and maintain motivational fuel. * Developers use commit logs or derived graphics to get a feel for incremental progress. * I look at my test-code output to feel motivated by my battlescars, and see a replay of my program destroying that bug. Success depends on many factors but two dependencies are motivation and happiness, for which quantification and reflection may help, and it's a skill to be practiced.
- SteliE 14y ago
  I have experienced happiness much more as a personal choice than a byproduct of living. Your living creates certain external circumstances that can lead to happiness or depression. Often it really doesn't matter what the external result is produced by your "living" but how you internally decide to respond to it. To share one of my favorite quotes on the topic :) "If you can't be happy with a lollipop - how could you possibly be happy with a yacht?" Richard Bandler
  - AlisdairO 14y ago
    Wonderful point. I've become convinced over time that how my life is going (at least, above a certain threshold and beyond short-term effects of recent unusual events) has relatively little effect upon how I'm feeling. It's more about how I choose to see things. As a result, I've found my way to a great deal of happiness without any truly extraordinary achievements. Nowadays, my friends tell me I'm 'easily amused', which I take as a great compliment.

ak39 14y ago

While I would agree that meditation helps to introspect and obtain perspective, I don't think that aiming for happiness (of itself) is meaningful at all. Yikes, I meant ... you cannot pursue happiness for happiness' sake. It's a byproduct of living. Happiness is an oblique outcome of being - of existing. I like what Robert Oppenheimer wrote to his brother Frank in one of his letters: "Everyone wants rather to be pleasing to women and that desire is not altogether, though it is very largely, a manifestation of vanity. But one cannot aim to be pleasing to women any more than one can aim to have taste, or beauty of expression, or happiness; for these things are not specific aims which one may learn to attain; they are descriptions of the adequacy of one's living. To try to be happy is to try to build a machine with no other specification than that it shall run noiselessly." ~ Robert Oppenheimer

macey 14y ago
Interesting point. Though I have to interject that the origin of happiness is so different from person to person that it is sort of silly to make any kind of generalization. In fact, I've read longitudinal studies on happiness that conclude that a person's happiness remains relatively static throughout their life, which provides substantial evidence for happiness being the result of genetics and temperament. Still, as far as I'm concerned, there's no good argument against aiming to understand what makes you feel happy and fulfilled, and keeping that magic thing in the forefront of your goals forever.
- jaekwon 14y ago
  Or, it's evidence that the simple idea that happiness can be exercised and controlled, is unbelievable. And evidently some of us find it unbelievable. But what if it is true? It would imply an introspecting mind that is consciously quantifying his/her state of being, maybe aided by meditation. Can you really calculate your way to happiness or success? I'm beginning to think that the answer is yes. * Companies are using iDoneThis to quantify their work and maintain motivational fuel. * Developers use commit logs or derived graphics to get a feel for incremental progress. * I look at my test-code output to feel motivated by my battlescars, and see a replay of my program destroying that bug. Success depends on many factors but two dependencies are motivation and happiness, for which quantification and reflection may help, and it's a skill to be practiced.
SteliE 14y ago
I have experienced happiness much more as a personal choice than a byproduct of living. Your living creates certain external circumstances that can lead to happiness or depression. Often it really doesn't matter what the external result is produced by your "living" but how you internally decide to respond to it. To share one of my favorite quotes on the topic :) "If you can't be happy with a lollipop - how could you possibly be happy with a yacht?" Richard Bandler
- AlisdairO 14y ago
  Wonderful point. I've become convinced over time that how my life is going (at least, above a certain threshold and beyond short-term effects of recent unusual events) has relatively little effect upon how I'm feeling. It's more about how I choose to see things. As a result, I've found my way to a great deal of happiness without any truly extraordinary achievements. Nowadays, my friends tell me I'm 'easily amused', which I take as a great compliment.