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> Best approach is to keep the relationship friendly, cordial and at a distance. How would that help defend you against the accusation that you resented her no

> Best approach is to keep the relationship friendly, cordial and at a distance. How would that help defend you against the accusation that you resented her not wanting to date you?

csallen 2y ago
Because if your relationship is friendly, cordial and appropriately distanced, there would then be no evidence that you resent her not wanting to date you. Come on guys, this stuff is pretty simple.
- thaumasiotes 2y ago
  There would also be no evidence that you didn't. They look exactly the same. All this would do is provide support for the idea that she didn't want to date you, and you were aware of that.
  - csallen 2y ago
    The legal system doesn't require you to prove your innocence
    - thaumasiotes 2y ago
      Those are just words; they don't describe the actual behavior of the system.
      - csallen 2y ago
        Example?
        thaumasiotes 2y ago
        https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Pages/casedetail.aspx?caseid=4334 https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Pages/casedeta... If you don't know how things work, maybe you shouldn't talk as if you do know.
    - lelanthran 2y ago
      > The legal system doesn't require you to prove your innocence Only in criminal cases. In civil suits, you'll have to prove your innocence.
lelanthran 2y ago
> How would that help defend you against the accusation that you resented her That's the "cordial and friendly" part; if you've never expressed any negativity about her it boosts your credibility. > not wanting to date you? That's the "distance" part. If you've never approached her in private, or for watercooler chat, or had lunch in the cafeteria together, or got coffee together ... that buys you some credibility. In short, you never reached out to her for anything other than a work request, made in a work-provided channel (email, slack, etc), and only reached out verbally/telephonically/in-person when urgency was required.
- lynx97 2y ago
  I agree with you. However, there are cases were even that kind of behaviour is turned around to stab you as a male... Not making any personal connection is considered creepy by some, and there have been cases were that was reported to HR. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UZetLBx5AA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UZetLBx5AA
- ty6853 2y ago
  This kind of risk mitigation is probably a losing strategy. Lawyers will find any reason to crucify you.
  - lelanthran 2y ago
    > This kind of risk mitigation is probably a losing strategy. Lawyers will find any reason to crucify you. Right, but much better for them to have flimsy reasons that literally won't pass even a cursory glance by a court (like alone time with someone), than give them situations which allows them to introduce doubt about your innocence.
  - itishappy 2y ago
    Refusing to work for or hire the opposite sex is also one of those reasons...

> Best approach is to keep the relationship friendly, cordial and at a distance. How would that help defend you against the accusation that you resented her not wanting to date you?

csallen 2y ago

Because if your relationship is friendly, cordial and appropriately distanced, there would then be no evidence that you resent her not wanting to date you. Come on guys, this stuff is pretty simple.

thaumasiotes 2y ago
There would also be no evidence that you didn't. They look exactly the same. All this would do is provide support for the idea that she didn't want to date you, and you were aware of that.
- csallen 2y ago
  The legal system doesn't require you to prove your innocence
  - thaumasiotes 2y ago
    Those are just words; they don't describe the actual behavior of the system.
    - csallen 2y ago
      Example?
      - thaumasiotes 2y ago
        https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Pages/casedetail.aspx?caseid=4334 https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Pages/casedeta... If you don't know how things work, maybe you shouldn't talk as if you do know.
  - lelanthran 2y ago
    > The legal system doesn't require you to prove your innocence Only in criminal cases. In civil suits, you'll have to prove your innocence.

lelanthran 2y ago

> How would that help defend you against the accusation that you resented her That's the "cordial and friendly" part; if you've never expressed any negativity about her it boosts your credibility. > not wanting to date you? That's the "distance" part. If you've never approached her in private, or for watercooler chat, or had lunch in the cafeteria together, or got coffee together ... that buys you some credibility. In short, you never reached out to her for anything other than a work request, made in a work-provided channel (email, slack, etc), and only reached out verbally/telephonically/in-person when urgency was required.

lynx97 2y ago
I agree with you. However, there are cases were even that kind of behaviour is turned around to stab you as a male... Not making any personal connection is considered creepy by some, and there have been cases were that was reported to HR. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UZetLBx5AA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UZetLBx5AA
ty6853 2y ago
This kind of risk mitigation is probably a losing strategy. Lawyers will find any reason to crucify you.
- lelanthran 2y ago
  > This kind of risk mitigation is probably a losing strategy. Lawyers will find any reason to crucify you. Right, but much better for them to have flimsy reasons that literally won't pass even a cursory glance by a court (like alone time with someone), than give them situations which allows them to introduce doubt about your innocence.
- itishappy 2y ago
  Refusing to work for or hire the opposite sex is also one of those reasons...