4 ms·

One thing jumped out: many of the states with high rates of "always" lonely, also have high rates of "never" lonely. Many of these states are in the Sun Belt. T

One thing jumped out: many of the states with high rates of "always" lonely, also have high rates of "never" lonely. Many of these states are in the Sun Belt. The article ties those always rates to poverty, these are also states that have had a high in-migration in recent years. Could this contradiction instead be that many of those who report being always lonely are those who have moved recently to the states, and who don't have the connection (often familial) that those who have been around longer, or who have stayed back in the "less lonely" states, have?

selimthegrim 2y ago
I live in Louisiana, one of those states. We have the lowest in-migration and low immigration.
_tlbb 2y ago
Probably the more likely explanation is that the general individual has slowly withdrawn from society due to the internet.
- giantg2 2y ago
  With how toxic many online communities are, I wonder what that says about how the real world must have treated them.
  - watwut 2y ago
    Fairly often, a person gets radicalized on the internet and then treats real world people around badly. Online toxic communities produce toxic people, but frequently those people were not mistreated all that much in the first place.
    - mlinhares 2y ago
      I've also met multiple people I'd never want to interact IRL but that are actually ok/nice people out of the internet. Being behind a keyboard definitely seems to bring the worst out of some people.
    - giantg2 2y ago
      But choosing to spend time in those online communities in the first place might be an indicator that they're seeking community that they haven't been able to find, or were left out of in fhe real world.
      - watwut 2y ago
        Might be, might be not. You really can not say that. Sometimes, online is simply cooler the exact same way new friends are sometimes cooler. It is more fun, because it is new and exciting. Sometimes, online (or new political group) hooks you in with fake threats that gives you feeling of purpose that has nothing to do with your actual environment being bad. Plus these groups are addictive by way of being bubbles - where your real life friends might tell you that "hey that is rude" or just wont appreciate you being derogative to others, like minded online individuals will embrace that part of you. And as you become more radical, IRL people will avoid you to avoid your toxicity while you will feel good in the similarly toxic environment.
        giantg2 2y ago
        I can say it just as much as you can say that the internet is the cause of the radicalization. Note the qualifier "might".
bluGill 2y ago
Florida doesn't fit though. They have a lot of in migration yet low lonelyness rates.
- mlinhares 2y ago
  Likely because people either move with a purpose (getting retired and living in a retiree community) or are moving to a specific community (an immigrant community, like myself), so there is plenty of other people just like you around. The community I live is easily 30% Brazilian, my oldest kid pre-school class is 90% kids born to Portuguese speaking households, even the kids that don't speak Portuguese pick a word or two and join in our events. I think the kids definitely change the equation, it is much easier to find other people in the same life period as you due to the kids being around the same age and being together anyway. Not sure how it would be if we didn't have kids but then again if we didn't have kids we would have stayed in PHL or moved to NJ/NY, we wouldn't come to Florida.
sudosteph 2y ago
If it was strongly influenced by southern states having transplants, I feel like NC would be much lonelier, but we actually did pretty good. That surprises me, because culturally and economically, our closest peer is Georgia, and they didn't do as well. The biggest difference between us and Georgia is that the a huge portion of Georgia's population is centered around Atlanta, while NC has two major metros (Charlotte / The Triangle) and lots of mid-sized cities spread all over. Would be interesting to see this data on a per-county or per-metro level.

selimthegrim 2y ago

I live in Louisiana, one of those states. We have the lowest in-migration and low immigration.

_tlbb 2y ago

Probably the more likely explanation is that the general individual has slowly withdrawn from society due to the internet.

giantg2 2y ago
With how toxic many online communities are, I wonder what that says about how the real world must have treated them.
- watwut 2y ago
  Fairly often, a person gets radicalized on the internet and then treats real world people around badly. Online toxic communities produce toxic people, but frequently those people were not mistreated all that much in the first place.
  - mlinhares 2y ago
    I've also met multiple people I'd never want to interact IRL but that are actually ok/nice people out of the internet. Being behind a keyboard definitely seems to bring the worst out of some people.
  - giantg2 2y ago
    But choosing to spend time in those online communities in the first place might be an indicator that they're seeking community that they haven't been able to find, or were left out of in fhe real world.
    - watwut 2y ago
      Might be, might be not. You really can not say that. Sometimes, online is simply cooler the exact same way new friends are sometimes cooler. It is more fun, because it is new and exciting. Sometimes, online (or new political group) hooks you in with fake threats that gives you feeling of purpose that has nothing to do with your actual environment being bad. Plus these groups are addictive by way of being bubbles - where your real life friends might tell you that "hey that is rude" or just wont appreciate you being derogative to others, like minded online individuals will embrace that part of you. And as you become more radical, IRL people will avoid you to avoid your toxicity while you will feel good in the similarly toxic environment.
      - giantg2 2y ago
        I can say it just as much as you can say that the internet is the cause of the radicalization. Note the qualifier "might".

bluGill 2y ago

Florida doesn't fit though. They have a lot of in migration yet low lonelyness rates.

mlinhares 2y ago
Likely because people either move with a purpose (getting retired and living in a retiree community) or are moving to a specific community (an immigrant community, like myself), so there is plenty of other people just like you around. The community I live is easily 30% Brazilian, my oldest kid pre-school class is 90% kids born to Portuguese speaking households, even the kids that don't speak Portuguese pick a word or two and join in our events. I think the kids definitely change the equation, it is much easier to find other people in the same life period as you due to the kids being around the same age and being together anyway. Not sure how it would be if we didn't have kids but then again if we didn't have kids we would have stayed in PHL or moved to NJ/NY, we wouldn't come to Florida.

sudosteph 2y ago

If it was strongly influenced by southern states having transplants, I feel like NC would be much lonelier, but we actually did pretty good. That surprises me, because culturally and economically, our closest peer is Georgia, and they didn't do as well. The biggest difference between us and Georgia is that the a huge portion of Georgia's population is centered around Atlanta, while NC has two major metros (Charlotte / The Triangle) and lots of mid-sized cities spread all over. Would be interesting to see this data on a per-county or per-metro level.