12 ms·

Except that isn't how neurodivergence works. Yes, everything that the commenter originally posted are things that happen to normal people as well. The differenc

by Onawa 2y ago

Except that isn't how neurodivergence works. Yes, everything that the commenter originally posted are things that happen to normal people as well. The difference is in the intensity and duration of these symptoms. Your comment is overly idealistic about neurodivergent people dealing with their problems. If it was a simple as accepting that our symptoms are normal, don't you think that we would gladly take that as an option? Psychologically, it just isn't a very effective tactic for dealing with our symptoms.

lolinder 2y ago
Yes. Identifying it as just part of being human doesn't explain at all why I, in particular, am regularly incapacitated by these things, and it's the sense of incapacity that causes the shame. You can absolutely rephrase "that's my ADHD" to "that's within the range of normal after all", but having a proper label for a cluster of people who stand out as a clearly distinct normal curve from the rest of the population is helpful.
- steve_adams_86 2y ago
  I like to frame it as a disability. I fought it for ages and wanted to believe I was normal. This is like trying to climb a tree with one arm. It won’t work. You need to take a step back, look at the problem, and develop systems which accommodate the missing arm. ADHD only works well for us when we involve ourselves in activities which benefit from having one, extremely well-practiced arm. That’s usually our happy place. The world typically asks for all limbs in tact, though. We inevitably hit those walls. If we pretend we won’t hit those walls and we don’t prepare ourselves, life is disproportionately hard. We also need to ensure we accept the disability such that when we do our best to be prepared, but we fail to be, we recognize that it’s a fact of life and we do our best with what we’ve got. I’m not a fan of the super power framing. I’m a fan of looking at it as a disability with positive, optimistic framing. When we get it right, life can work really well for us. We will always be at a disadvantage in some ways, but the skills and experiences we get because of that can be invaluable.
nsagent 2y ago
I most likely would be diagnosed with ADHD if I sought a formal diagnosis (my ex, who I was with for over a decade is a clinical psychologist and said I most likely have ADHD; my brother is diagnosed with it and my mom's ADHD traits make the both of us look tame). The thing is, I just don't buy into the rampant pathologizing that's so prevalent these days. It's really a societal problem, and is being treated as a human failing. I contend that it's society that's expecting humans to behave in a way we haven't needed for most of our evolution. These include: having exacting time standards disconnected from seasons and day/night cycles, having to juggle many more cognitively intense tasks that we need to quickly switch amongst, being exposed to media and technology specifically designed to capture your attention for as long as possible, etc.
- danaris 2y ago
  It's not "a societal problem" if I forget, for a week, that I've left out a yogurt on the counter, and it spreads mold. It's not "a societal problem" if I fail to notice my body getting hungry for 6 hours as I try to work out a particularly enticing programming problem, and end up irritable and headachy. It's not "a societal problem" if I blow up at a friend (or partner, or coworker, etc) because I have trouble regulating emotions, and trouble recognizing what's happening inside until it's too late. There are certainly some symptoms of ADHD, and some ways that they manifest, that are, indeed, only a problem (or vastly exacerbated) by current societal expectations. But many of the symptoms just make life harder no matter what society is like. ADHD is a disability, and should be treated as such. Unfortunately, it's the kind of disability whose most common manifestations mostly make even very well-meaning people think that those who suffer from it are lazy, immature, or lacking in willpower.

by Onawa 2y ago

lolinder 2y ago

Yes. Identifying it as just part of being human doesn't explain at all why I, in particular, am regularly incapacitated by these things, and it's the sense of incapacity that causes the shame. You can absolutely rephrase "that's my ADHD" to "that's within the range of normal after all", but having a proper label for a cluster of people who stand out as a clearly distinct normal curve from the rest of the population is helpful.

steve_adams_86 2y ago
I like to frame it as a disability. I fought it for ages and wanted to believe I was normal. This is like trying to climb a tree with one arm. It won’t work. You need to take a step back, look at the problem, and develop systems which accommodate the missing arm. ADHD only works well for us when we involve ourselves in activities which benefit from having one, extremely well-practiced arm. That’s usually our happy place. The world typically asks for all limbs in tact, though. We inevitably hit those walls. If we pretend we won’t hit those walls and we don’t prepare ourselves, life is disproportionately hard. We also need to ensure we accept the disability such that when we do our best to be prepared, but we fail to be, we recognize that it’s a fact of life and we do our best with what we’ve got. I’m not a fan of the super power framing. I’m a fan of looking at it as a disability with positive, optimistic framing. When we get it right, life can work really well for us. We will always be at a disadvantage in some ways, but the skills and experiences we get because of that can be invaluable.

nsagent 2y ago

I most likely would be diagnosed with ADHD if I sought a formal diagnosis (my ex, who I was with for over a decade is a clinical psychologist and said I most likely have ADHD; my brother is diagnosed with it and my mom's ADHD traits make the both of us look tame). The thing is, I just don't buy into the rampant pathologizing that's so prevalent these days. It's really a societal problem, and is being treated as a human failing. I contend that it's society that's expecting humans to behave in a way we haven't needed for most of our evolution. These include: having exacting time standards disconnected from seasons and day/night cycles, having to juggle many more cognitively intense tasks that we need to quickly switch amongst, being exposed to media and technology specifically designed to capture your attention for as long as possible, etc.

danaris 2y ago
It's not "a societal problem" if I forget, for a week, that I've left out a yogurt on the counter, and it spreads mold. It's not "a societal problem" if I fail to notice my body getting hungry for 6 hours as I try to work out a particularly enticing programming problem, and end up irritable and headachy. It's not "a societal problem" if I blow up at a friend (or partner, or coworker, etc) because I have trouble regulating emotions, and trouble recognizing what's happening inside until it's too late. There are certainly some symptoms of ADHD, and some ways that they manifest, that are, indeed, only a problem (or vastly exacerbated) by current societal expectations. But many of the symptoms just make life harder no matter what society is like. ADHD is a disability, and should be treated as such. Unfortunately, it's the kind of disability whose most common manifestations mostly make even very well-meaning people think that those who suffer from it are lazy, immature, or lacking in willpower.