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hah yea i have very low confidence that this person is going be sucessful at their goal the way they described it seemed like the opposite of what i suggested

hah yea i have very low confidence that this person is going be sucessful at their goal the way they described it seemed like the opposite of what i suggested here https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43434340 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43434340

stego-tech 2y ago
Ya'll be reading way too much into a potential management or leadership style based on one comment about what I specifically took away from the OP and how it affected me specifically. If anything, the vibe I'm getting back is that you're the types to make strong judgements based on single sources absent broader context, which is not something I'd want in either an engineer or a leader above me, as it demonstrates a degree of inflexibility or unwillingness to be wrong. The one above you at least challenged me in a way I could respond to, rather than resorting to an insult masquerading as critique based upon one comment. Take your own advice: > Genuinely like ppl around you from your heart ( not fake it) Folks who genuinely empathize with others aren't quick to resort to anonymized slights based on limited information, in my experience. Rather, it's the fakers who all too quickly devolve into brash and flippant comments when they feel they're safe behind some sort of shield. I'm aware this is a bit hypocritical on my part saying it this way, but sometimes you gotta wade into the mud to make your case.
- FrustratedMonky 2y ago
  That is how I meant it. Just observation. When I was younger engineer. I did 'I' self reference speech a lot. It was years later I realized it was alienating people. Now really focus more time on listening, and only speaking about what the other person is interested in. Now when others are always using "I", it just stands out at me. People really are simple, and want to talk about themselves, so if you realize this, and talk about what others want to talk about, you get along better. I picked it up from Dale Carnegie, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influen...
  - apwell23 2y ago
    Yep its very for almost everyone because so much of our identity is tied around I and its very hard to let that go. I personally struggle with that a lot.

stego-tech 2y ago

Ya'll be reading way too much into a potential management or leadership style based on one comment about what I specifically took away from the OP and how it affected me specifically. If anything, the vibe I'm getting back is that you're the types to make strong judgements based on single sources absent broader context, which is not something I'd want in either an engineer or a leader above me, as it demonstrates a degree of inflexibility or unwillingness to be wrong. The one above you at least challenged me in a way I could respond to, rather than resorting to an insult masquerading as critique based upon one comment. Take your own advice: > Genuinely like ppl around you from your heart ( not fake it) Folks who genuinely empathize with others aren't quick to resort to anonymized slights based on limited information, in my experience. Rather, it's the fakers who all too quickly devolve into brash and flippant comments when they feel they're safe behind some sort of shield. I'm aware this is a bit hypocritical on my part saying it this way, but sometimes you gotta wade into the mud to make your case.

FrustratedMonky 2y ago
That is how I meant it. Just observation. When I was younger engineer. I did 'I' self reference speech a lot. It was years later I realized it was alienating people. Now really focus more time on listening, and only speaking about what the other person is interested in. Now when others are always using "I", it just stands out at me. People really are simple, and want to talk about themselves, so if you realize this, and talk about what others want to talk about, you get along better. I picked it up from Dale Carnegie, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influen...
- apwell23 2y ago
  Yep its very for almost everyone because so much of our identity is tied around I and its very hard to let that go. I personally struggle with that a lot.