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I think more important would be for me to have kids when younger - when you have more strength and stamina, a longer amount of time you can be with them and you

I think more important would be for me to have kids when younger - when you have more strength and stamina, a longer amount of time you can be with them and your grandchildren. Of course the most important thing is to do it (marry & start a family) with the right person, otherwise your life can actually get much worse than previously.

nextts 2y ago
Kids younger. You miss out on parties and travel but then your brain will get likely rewired to not care/regret that when you are older. Plus then at 40 you can start your startup. One tip is to make the 20 years of work lead to the unfair advantage for that startup. Hard to pay for a family on a 20 yo salary for most though.
- kcplate 2y ago
  We had kids younger (very early in our 20s) and while it was difficult financially for a time, I definitely wouldn’t change it. Especially after seeing friends who waited. I think having younger kids in your later 30s and 40s put some hard miles on you.
  - yesnomaybe 2y ago
    I have young kids mid 50s. it's tough, but keeps me young, active and I believe more enjoyable as a person (not that I'm much of that lol). I've spent all my 20s coding and learning and actively decided against relationship, as that would have completely eaten my time and I wouldn't enjoy how that time was spent. If I could choose an age to start having kids, it would be 33. Still enough appetite for other stuff, but also a good amount of desire to procreate.
    - kcplate 2y ago
      I’m late 50s, having kids younger means I now have young grandkids. The nice thing about them is they keep me young and active, but when they smell funny, have snotty noses, or when I’m just tired—-I can hand them back to their parents. The best thing about grandkids, is no one really gets mad when you do the old “pull my finger” trick. You’re an old man and it’s expected of ya.
    - coffeebeqn 2y ago
      Late 20s or early 30s depending on how stable the rest of your life is would be my recommendation. But any time that works is better than no kids at all
gedy 2y ago
> have kids when younger - when you have more strength and stamina I remember chatting with our midwife, and she commented how well (physically) young women (<~23) handle birthing and after. Economically, culturally, and emotionally it's not a great idea these days though.
- margorczynski 2y ago
  > I remember chatting with our midwife, and she commented how well (physically) young women (<~23) handle birthing and after. Probably that's around the age when women had children for most of humanity's existence and what works best. > Economically, culturally, and emotionally it's not a great idea these days though. Maybe changing that should be the main focus of our governments? There is a clear quantitative signal (birth rates) that show our current approach to culture and life in general isn't working.
  - lotsofpulp 2y ago
    I don’t think the government can change it. At the most basic, women, like men, desire financial freedom, and that requires being valuable in the workforce (or having passive income from investments). Straight paying women to have that financial security is also a problem, because you don’t want to incentivize someone to just have kids, you want to incentivize them to have well raised kids, and that is impossible to measure and a political quagmire.

nextts 2y ago

Kids younger. You miss out on parties and travel but then your brain will get likely rewired to not care/regret that when you are older. Plus then at 40 you can start your startup. One tip is to make the 20 years of work lead to the unfair advantage for that startup. Hard to pay for a family on a 20 yo salary for most though.

kcplate 2y ago
We had kids younger (very early in our 20s) and while it was difficult financially for a time, I definitely wouldn’t change it. Especially after seeing friends who waited. I think having younger kids in your later 30s and 40s put some hard miles on you.
- yesnomaybe 2y ago
  I have young kids mid 50s. it's tough, but keeps me young, active and I believe more enjoyable as a person (not that I'm much of that lol). I've spent all my 20s coding and learning and actively decided against relationship, as that would have completely eaten my time and I wouldn't enjoy how that time was spent. If I could choose an age to start having kids, it would be 33. Still enough appetite for other stuff, but also a good amount of desire to procreate.
  - kcplate 2y ago
    I’m late 50s, having kids younger means I now have young grandkids. The nice thing about them is they keep me young and active, but when they smell funny, have snotty noses, or when I’m just tired—-I can hand them back to their parents. The best thing about grandkids, is no one really gets mad when you do the old “pull my finger” trick. You’re an old man and it’s expected of ya.
  - coffeebeqn 2y ago
    Late 20s or early 30s depending on how stable the rest of your life is would be my recommendation. But any time that works is better than no kids at all

gedy 2y ago

> have kids when younger - when you have more strength and stamina I remember chatting with our midwife, and she commented how well (physically) young women (<~23) handle birthing and after. Economically, culturally, and emotionally it's not a great idea these days though.

margorczynski 2y ago
> I remember chatting with our midwife, and she commented how well (physically) young women (<~23) handle birthing and after. Probably that's around the age when women had children for most of humanity's existence and what works best. > Economically, culturally, and emotionally it's not a great idea these days though. Maybe changing that should be the main focus of our governments? There is a clear quantitative signal (birth rates) that show our current approach to culture and life in general isn't working.
- lotsofpulp 2y ago
  I don’t think the government can change it. At the most basic, women, like men, desire financial freedom, and that requires being valuable in the workforce (or having passive income from investments). Straight paying women to have that financial security is also a problem, because you don’t want to incentivize someone to just have kids, you want to incentivize them to have well raised kids, and that is impossible to measure and a political quagmire.