OP is probably autistic. I very clearly see the exact same line of thinking I take towards similar problems. I don't know why this type of AuDHD drives us this

OP is probably autistic. I very clearly see the exact same line of thinking I take towards similar problems. I don't know why this type of AuDHD drives us this way but Jesus Christ is it awful. I'd have saved so many years of suffering if I'd just listened to the good advice and reason I'm constantly showered in. Best solution I've got is "suck it up and listen to someone you trust who isn't in your head". Still, that's really hard to do.