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>So what I'm hearing, it's not actually for me, it's for you. It's totally for the manager, they gotta fill their calendars to look like they're doing stuff. I

>So what I'm hearing, it's not actually for me, it's for you. It's totally for the manager, they gotta fill their calendars to look like they're doing stuff. I hate when they want me to rank myself from 1-5 on various things just to tell me, "I don't think you're a 5, you're performing as expected. COL raise." I just put 3's on everything and wait for it to be over. Our company (whose application I built from scratch) just started doing this with a new manager after 6 years and I put in my notice on the first one. My buddy put's all 1s. It's a stupid business culture bullshit thing like mandatory after hours "team building" exercises and stupid infantilization things they love to do now. The best managers on the best teams I worked with never did this.

deleted 2y ago
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jmye 2y ago
> It's totally for the manager, they gotta fill their calendars to look like they're doing stuff. I can’t imagine a sillier take. No one gives a shit what’s on my calendar. They didn’t when I was a manager, director, VP or when I had a C in my title. The 1:1 is to help you figure out why you’re an average dev and aren’t getting fives. It’s unfortunate you haven’t quite grokked that and instead just spend your time imagining how everyone around you is incompetent and out to do you wrong.
- Clubber 2y ago
  You don't know anything about me. How can you even make that assessment? See, this is another example of modern manager bullshit. I certainly hope you don't lackadaisically asses your team in the same flippant, emotional manner. Here's another thing, you probably aren't even allowed to answer the important questions. When are layoffs? Is there an M&A going on? What projects are going to be tanked in the coming year? Who are all those new people walking around? It's all fluff and you know it. Do you make them sit in the little uncomfortable chairs in your office across from you after you ask them to shut the door? If you do, you probably should rethink the environment you're setting up. Do you even shake their hand when they come in? Managers today are so bad at building team unity and trust. I've been on both sides of this table and I know exactly what this is. Want to have more interaction with your team? Try taking them out to lunch once in a while. It works wonders for team unity. If the boss doesn't let you use the corporate card, use your own.
  - jmye 2y ago
    > You don't know anything about me. How can you even make that assessment? I used only the words you actively wrote. Do you not see the irony in the rest of what you wrote, though? Immediately suggesting I’m being “emotional”? What is this, 4chan? Uncomfortable chairs? What? It’s just, a whole mess of “you’re going to do me wrong, so I’m going to hate you first.” It seems like it should be unsurprising that you got low ratings when you approach things this antagonistically right off the bat. I don’t want “more” interaction - I want interaction that helps them get fives/bonuses/equity grants, helps them get promoted (yearly raises will never be anything but useless), and helps them move forward with whatever their goals are. You’ve made a lot of weird assumptions that simultaneously assume I’m a moron, and that no one could possibly ever want to help you. Why?
    - Clubber 2y ago
      >The 1:1 is to help you figure out why you’re an average dev and aren’t getting fives. >It’s unfortunate you haven’t quite grokked that and instead just spend your time imagining how everyone around you is incompetent and out to do you wrong. Where did I write that I don't get 5s? That seems like a knee-jerk (emotional) response to a take you didn't like. Have you ever given anyone all 5s? Are you one of those "no one is perfect," people? Sorry, but 1:1's are bullshit. It's a power move that managers use to keep costs down by making excuses to not give more than COL raises (if that). It's typically based on emotion at the time of the review and not looking at performance or output or anything. People the manager likes (ass kissers, yes men) gets higher numbers, people who the manager doesn't like (gets pushback on bad ideas) gets lower numbers. They fool themselves that because they're writing down a number that it's data driven. You might not do it, but to deny that's quite commonplace is just not facing reality. I've watched good IT departments fall apart and the enjoyment of building software degrade over 30 years because of process bullshit. Good teams that had minimal turnover start to vanish as soon as things like this start getting implemented. If this isn't you, sorry I ripped your head off. I've spent most of my career getting startups over the finish line in M&A situations on the technical side. The number of really good, dedicated, happy, low turnover teams that fall apart after the acquisition because of things like this is pretty close to 100%. >Uncomfortable chairs? What? In business school in the 90s, one of the things that came up is the layout of the interview room when interviewing a candidate. You don't want all of the company interviewers on one side of the table and the interviewee by themselves on the other side because it gives them a feel of being outnumbered and is a generally confrontational positioning. Rather you should have the interviewers spread out at different positions at the table, some sitting next to the candidate to make them feel included, etc. This is to prevent false negatives for a company in desperate need for talent. Long explanation short, when people do 1:1s, the layout is typically the manager in their chair, behind their desk with the subordinate in an uncomfortable chair on the other side with the door shut. This is also a dominant/subordinate layout. This stuff matters and is one of the things that make 1:1s so bad. The "grade yourself on this and that," is also a really bad idea that is now commonplace. When the manager essentially says, "you aren't that good," it's a real kick in the teeth. Psychologically, one of the worst things a manager can do in terms of motivation is unnecessarily criticize someone after they worked really hard for their approval. I could go on and on, but at the risk of rambling, I'll leave it at that.
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486sx33 2y ago
I’m sorry you’ve had managers that make you feel that way. I can assure you that not every manager needs to book 1:1’s to fill their calendar.

deleted 2y ago

[deleted]

jmye 2y ago

> It's totally for the manager, they gotta fill their calendars to look like they're doing stuff. I can’t imagine a sillier take. No one gives a shit what’s on my calendar. They didn’t when I was a manager, director, VP or when I had a C in my title. The 1:1 is to help you figure out why you’re an average dev and aren’t getting fives. It’s unfortunate you haven’t quite grokked that and instead just spend your time imagining how everyone around you is incompetent and out to do you wrong.

Clubber 2y ago
You don't know anything about me. How can you even make that assessment? See, this is another example of modern manager bullshit. I certainly hope you don't lackadaisically asses your team in the same flippant, emotional manner. Here's another thing, you probably aren't even allowed to answer the important questions. When are layoffs? Is there an M&A going on? What projects are going to be tanked in the coming year? Who are all those new people walking around? It's all fluff and you know it. Do you make them sit in the little uncomfortable chairs in your office across from you after you ask them to shut the door? If you do, you probably should rethink the environment you're setting up. Do you even shake their hand when they come in? Managers today are so bad at building team unity and trust. I've been on both sides of this table and I know exactly what this is. Want to have more interaction with your team? Try taking them out to lunch once in a while. It works wonders for team unity. If the boss doesn't let you use the corporate card, use your own.
- jmye 2y ago
  > You don't know anything about me. How can you even make that assessment? I used only the words you actively wrote. Do you not see the irony in the rest of what you wrote, though? Immediately suggesting I’m being “emotional”? What is this, 4chan? Uncomfortable chairs? What? It’s just, a whole mess of “you’re going to do me wrong, so I’m going to hate you first.” It seems like it should be unsurprising that you got low ratings when you approach things this antagonistically right off the bat. I don’t want “more” interaction - I want interaction that helps them get fives/bonuses/equity grants, helps them get promoted (yearly raises will never be anything but useless), and helps them move forward with whatever their goals are. You’ve made a lot of weird assumptions that simultaneously assume I’m a moron, and that no one could possibly ever want to help you. Why?
  - Clubber 2y ago
    >The 1:1 is to help you figure out why you’re an average dev and aren’t getting fives. >It’s unfortunate you haven’t quite grokked that and instead just spend your time imagining how everyone around you is incompetent and out to do you wrong. Where did I write that I don't get 5s? That seems like a knee-jerk (emotional) response to a take you didn't like. Have you ever given anyone all 5s? Are you one of those "no one is perfect," people? Sorry, but 1:1's are bullshit. It's a power move that managers use to keep costs down by making excuses to not give more than COL raises (if that). It's typically based on emotion at the time of the review and not looking at performance or output or anything. People the manager likes (ass kissers, yes men) gets higher numbers, people who the manager doesn't like (gets pushback on bad ideas) gets lower numbers. They fool themselves that because they're writing down a number that it's data driven. You might not do it, but to deny that's quite commonplace is just not facing reality. I've watched good IT departments fall apart and the enjoyment of building software degrade over 30 years because of process bullshit. Good teams that had minimal turnover start to vanish as soon as things like this start getting implemented. If this isn't you, sorry I ripped your head off. I've spent most of my career getting startups over the finish line in M&A situations on the technical side. The number of really good, dedicated, happy, low turnover teams that fall apart after the acquisition because of things like this is pretty close to 100%. >Uncomfortable chairs? What? In business school in the 90s, one of the things that came up is the layout of the interview room when interviewing a candidate. You don't want all of the company interviewers on one side of the table and the interviewee by themselves on the other side because it gives them a feel of being outnumbered and is a generally confrontational positioning. Rather you should have the interviewers spread out at different positions at the table, some sitting next to the candidate to make them feel included, etc. This is to prevent false negatives for a company in desperate need for talent. Long explanation short, when people do 1:1s, the layout is typically the manager in their chair, behind their desk with the subordinate in an uncomfortable chair on the other side with the door shut. This is also a dominant/subordinate layout. This stuff matters and is one of the things that make 1:1s so bad. The "grade yourself on this and that," is also a really bad idea that is now commonplace. When the manager essentially says, "you aren't that good," it's a real kick in the teeth. Psychologically, one of the worst things a manager can do in terms of motivation is unnecessarily criticize someone after they worked really hard for their approval. I could go on and on, but at the risk of rambling, I'll leave it at that.

deleted 2y ago

[deleted]

486sx33 2y ago

I’m sorry you’ve had managers that make you feel that way. I can assure you that not every manager needs to book 1:1’s to fill their calendar.