I was almost exactly in the same situation as you. In my 20s, I remember using OKCupid, but the OKCupid I found when I tried again in my 30s was very different

I was almost exactly in the same situation as you. In my 20s, I remember using OKCupid, but the OKCupid I found when I tried again in my 30s was very different (it is owned by Match afterall). All the apps were very similar, and the only chance I had of actually getting anywhere was sinking a ton of money into them. I was heavily active on 3-4 apps and vaguely active of 3-4 others, for nearly a year. I think I sunk ~$500 into the apps, with maybe 2 dozen dates to show of it. Part of the problem is the abundance of profiles. We get trained to judge people on a very superficial level, because there's just too many people to properly analyze. I found myself going through phases of trying to swipe everyone right, and then through phases of being a lot more picky and swiping left of anyone that had the smallest flaw. You're right that at the end of the day, the best way was to meet people IRL asap and get to know them that way. That being said, for busy full time adults, that's still a lot of work and effort. Dating I find is especially hard for people who don't have third spaces. For introverts hanging out online. You can have third spaces online (twitch, discord, gaming communities), but it's harder to find local people there.