7 ms·

Mass-market online dating apps are already a minefield of phony/fake and spammy/scammy content. AI will make it so much worse, so quickly. I wonder if this wi

by cs702 2y ago

Mass-market online dating apps are already a minefield of phony/fake and spammy/scammy content. AI will make it so much worse, so quickly. I wonder if this will spark a return to more old-fashioned methods for finding dates.

shalg 2y ago
Probably will slightly increase old fashioned methods. More likely though it’s going to accelerate social isolation :/
- ta12653421 2y ago
  Here i can also add a story: Last year, i recognized a lady who also exits the same metro & bus at the same station sometimes, so i was looking forward that i will see her again one day. This happened: I have to note im somewhat above the average body height, as she is: id say she was around 1.89m, my own size - apart from the fact that i found her beautiful, i thought it would be somehow a "higher chance" to get to known her, since for tall women its actually not easy (if you are ~1.89m and you want someone who is at least the same size, 90%+ men are out!) and i "projected" that she may notice this. So when i saw her leaving the bus, i spoke to her and invited here to a coffee - she looked at me completely confused like i was trying to rob her. (it was a "daylight situation" short after lunch) Not required to say that she never called back after handing her my number :-)))
  - MandieD 2y ago
    Um, did you consider that this tall, beautiful woman might a) already have a partner despite being tall, b) not be interested in finding a partner right now, or c) since it was lunchtime, was thinking about something she needed to do for work and resented the interruption?
    - ungreased0675 2y ago
      What would you recommend he have done instead? Your reaction is an example of why dating is so hard for guys. There is no way to approach women without risking a potentially reputation-ruining reaction.
      - dragonwriter 2y ago
        Well, there's definitely no right way to do a cold approach and immediate invitation to a date to a stranger on the street; there are contexts where people are signalling they are open to dating approahces from strangers (dating apps, certain singles events—but even a certain amount of mutual sharing, facilitated by the app or event, is normal before an invitation, for both parties to do some assessment of compatibility beyond appearance), and there are relatively safe ways and contexts to inquire about the possibility of a date where there is a pre-existing non-dating relationship. But a cold approach on the street based on nothing but appearance (partially attraction, partially the paradoxical assessment that this attractive potential partner has an unusually limited set of potential partners of their own) has got to be the worst choice ever. Not only do you have a mich higher chance of approaching someone who isn't available for dating in any context, you also signal that your only concern in dating in appearance and that you are incredibly socially inept and unaware of the contexts in which dating approaches are appropriate, neither of which are helpful to your cause, in most cases.
        ta12653421 2y ago
        >>you also signal that your only concern in dating in appearance a) first, i didnt tell her my assumption?!!! b) you are sounding like: "do not do any of those assumptions because they are wrong and listen..." - in fact: EVERYBODY is doing those assumptions/calculations when approaching someone, regardless the environment - so there is absolutely no reason to point out that my "behaviour" is somehow any specific to someone else - this is just disguise from yours :-) c) what about all this buff then: "why does nobody invites me on a date?" and "why do men do not speak to women openly" etc. and all this stuff that we can read everywhere, like: Men have to approch Women, so i did. And failed. And now you have your perspective, thats OK. d) WHENEVER you are speaking to someone in a club/socialevent/etc. your primary signal is appearance, so do not try to wrap this otherwise since experiments & data show absolutely whats going on.
    - ta12653421 2y ago
      Good catch! The days when i saw her some days in the metro, i checked explicitly if she has some signs of an existing relationship, like a ring or something specific that may indicate this. Also i have to admit, she is a smoker; something i could deal with (teethgrindingly) since i was one for myself years ago, but honestly: Today most men wont partner up with a lady who is a smoker. And in case of men today, if you are smoking you are actually out forever for any women: Smoking _is_ just disgusting :-D So, my "gut-statistics" is just telling me that she is/was single with a very very high probality. EDIT: before someone is coming with clothes or similar ideas: Im working in a decent office environment in which nice clothes are the standard (finance), so im not running around with jeans etc, also im in very good shape
luqtas 2y ago
almost all of the popular ones have photo verification and you can limit yourself on interacting with photo-verified (Tinder even have ID auth) users only
- ta12653421 2y ago
  How would you prove in front of court that this verification icon was not placed by the app development company? :-)
  - luqtas 2y ago
    i'm yet to have a good chat with a bot. never met one in a dating app tho, but you raised a quite neat point... what's the end point? make effective bots that out of the blue unmatches you? if that ever gets out in the wild, either the company risks (i guess) a huge legal fee or users migrate to reliable places/video chatting right after matching turns into a user 'handshake' verification

by cs702 2y ago

shalg 2y ago

Probably will slightly increase old fashioned methods. More likely though it’s going to accelerate social isolation :/

ta12653421 2y ago
Here i can also add a story: Last year, i recognized a lady who also exits the same metro & bus at the same station sometimes, so i was looking forward that i will see her again one day. This happened: I have to note im somewhat above the average body height, as she is: id say she was around 1.89m, my own size - apart from the fact that i found her beautiful, i thought it would be somehow a "higher chance" to get to known her, since for tall women its actually not easy (if you are ~1.89m and you want someone who is at least the same size, 90%+ men are out!) and i "projected" that she may notice this. So when i saw her leaving the bus, i spoke to her and invited here to a coffee - she looked at me completely confused like i was trying to rob her. (it was a "daylight situation" short after lunch) Not required to say that she never called back after handing her my number :-)))
- MandieD 2y ago
  Um, did you consider that this tall, beautiful woman might a) already have a partner despite being tall, b) not be interested in finding a partner right now, or c) since it was lunchtime, was thinking about something she needed to do for work and resented the interruption?
  - ungreased0675 2y ago
    What would you recommend he have done instead? Your reaction is an example of why dating is so hard for guys. There is no way to approach women without risking a potentially reputation-ruining reaction.
    - dragonwriter 2y ago
      Well, there's definitely no right way to do a cold approach and immediate invitation to a date to a stranger on the street; there are contexts where people are signalling they are open to dating approahces from strangers (dating apps, certain singles events—but even a certain amount of mutual sharing, facilitated by the app or event, is normal before an invitation, for both parties to do some assessment of compatibility beyond appearance), and there are relatively safe ways and contexts to inquire about the possibility of a date where there is a pre-existing non-dating relationship. But a cold approach on the street based on nothing but appearance (partially attraction, partially the paradoxical assessment that this attractive potential partner has an unusually limited set of potential partners of their own) has got to be the worst choice ever. Not only do you have a mich higher chance of approaching someone who isn't available for dating in any context, you also signal that your only concern in dating in appearance and that you are incredibly socially inept and unaware of the contexts in which dating approaches are appropriate, neither of which are helpful to your cause, in most cases.
      - ta12653421 2y ago
        >>you also signal that your only concern in dating in appearance a) first, i didnt tell her my assumption?!!! b) you are sounding like: "do not do any of those assumptions because they are wrong and listen..." - in fact: EVERYBODY is doing those assumptions/calculations when approaching someone, regardless the environment - so there is absolutely no reason to point out that my "behaviour" is somehow any specific to someone else - this is just disguise from yours :-) c) what about all this buff then: "why does nobody invites me on a date?" and "why do men do not speak to women openly" etc. and all this stuff that we can read everywhere, like: Men have to approch Women, so i did. And failed. And now you have your perspective, thats OK. d) WHENEVER you are speaking to someone in a club/socialevent/etc. your primary signal is appearance, so do not try to wrap this otherwise since experiments & data show absolutely whats going on.
  - ta12653421 2y ago
    Good catch! The days when i saw her some days in the metro, i checked explicitly if she has some signs of an existing relationship, like a ring or something specific that may indicate this. Also i have to admit, she is a smoker; something i could deal with (teethgrindingly) since i was one for myself years ago, but honestly: Today most men wont partner up with a lady who is a smoker. And in case of men today, if you are smoking you are actually out forever for any women: Smoking _is_ just disgusting :-D So, my "gut-statistics" is just telling me that she is/was single with a very very high probality. EDIT: before someone is coming with clothes or similar ideas: Im working in a decent office environment in which nice clothes are the standard (finance), so im not running around with jeans etc, also im in very good shape

luqtas 2y ago

almost all of the popular ones have photo verification and you can limit yourself on interacting with photo-verified (Tinder even have ID auth) users only

ta12653421 2y ago
How would you prove in front of court that this verification icon was not placed by the app development company? :-)
- luqtas 2y ago
  i'm yet to have a good chat with a bot. never met one in a dating app tho, but you raised a quite neat point... what's the end point? make effective bots that out of the blue unmatches you? if that ever gets out in the wild, either the company risks (i guess) a huge legal fee or users migrate to reliable places/video chatting right after matching turns into a user 'handshake' verification