2 ms·

"My friend group has a case of the Creepy Dude. How do we clear that up?" (2012)

4 points by Tomte 2y ago

ConspiracyFact 2y ago
What time and place does the author live in?
Tomte 2y ago
> And then I asked The Question. And after I asked The Question, his face changed. He looked sick. “I didn’t think of that.” After The Question, he wished he’d been more explicit – gone to the course director. Been there more for Luminous. The good intentions that he wanted to assume, the passes he was willing to give the other man, evaporated, completely. They had evaporated for me, halfway through the story. > When I tell this story to women, they spot The Question right away. The men don’t; they think that Dr Glass behaved like a gentleman, neither doing too much nor too little. They are feminist men, and good people. They have read “The Gift of Fear” and they talk about privilege and the patriarchy, and they don’t spot it.
- rawling 2y ago
  If anyone is interested by this and wants to see if they guess "the question" - firstly, it's based on another story in the comments and not the main article, so don't be surprised if you read the article and still have no idea - secondly, don't ctrl-f for "the question" as you'll likely find it before the context. The story comment starts "Not surprisingly, I have a story?" so search for that instead.
  - Tomte 2y ago
    Huh, I'm pretty sure I submitted the anchor to the relevant comment. Either HN stripped that or I fat-fingered it.
  - genewitch 2y ago
    I remember on one of these someone made a great analogy about broken stairs to the back door of a house; and I thought that was it. > "[...] I think there were some people in the community who were intentionally protecting him, but there were more who were de facto protecting him by treating him like a missing stair. Like something you're so used to working around, you never stop to ask "what if we actually fixed this?" Eventually you take it for granted that working around this guy is just a fact of life, and if he hurts someone, that's the fault of whoever didn't apply the workarounds correctly." Awkward in the story you are talking about wasn't a missing stair, he was a walking red flags. Ugh.

4 points by Tomte 2y ago

What time and place does the author live in?

> And then I asked The Question. And after I asked The Question, his face changed. He looked sick. “I didn’t think of that.” After The Question, he wished he’d been more explicit – gone to the course director. Been there more for Luminous. The good intentions that he wanted to assume, the passes he was willing to give the other man, evaporated, completely. They had evaporated for me, halfway through the story. > When I tell this story to women, they spot The Question right away. The men don’t; they think that Dr Glass behaved like a gentleman, neither doing too much nor too little. They are feminist men, and good people. They have read “The Gift of Fear” and they talk about privilege and the patriarchy, and they don’t spot it.

rawling 2y ago
If anyone is interested by this and wants to see if they guess "the question" - firstly, it's based on another story in the comments and not the main article, so don't be surprised if you read the article and still have no idea - secondly, don't ctrl-f for "the question" as you'll likely find it before the context. The story comment starts "Not surprisingly, I have a story?" so search for that instead.
- Tomte 2y ago
  Huh, I'm pretty sure I submitted the anchor to the relevant comment. Either HN stripped that or I fat-fingered it.
- genewitch 2y ago
  I remember on one of these someone made a great analogy about broken stairs to the back door of a house; and I thought that was it. > "[...] I think there were some people in the community who were intentionally protecting him, but there were more who were de facto protecting him by treating him like a missing stair. Like something you're so used to working around, you never stop to ask "what if we actually fixed this?" Eventually you take it for granted that working around this guy is just a fact of life, and if he hurts someone, that's the fault of whoever didn't apply the workarounds correctly." Awkward in the story you are talking about wasn't a missing stair, he was a walking red flags. Ugh.