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> Is the implication of this question that a heterosexual man should be aroused whenever they see a heterosexual couple kissing? This kind of wild accusation d

> Is the implication of this question that a heterosexual man should be aroused whenever they see a heterosexual couple kissing? This kind of wild accusation doesn't further the conversation. What the person you've responded to said is off base enough without you accusing him of saying random things that aren't there.

slg 2y ago
They asked a question specifically about the feelings of a "heterosexual man". Why include the sexuality of that hypothetical person in the question if their sexual preferences were not intended to be part of the answer? I don't mean that or my previous questions rhetorically. I was less "accusing him of saying random things that aren't there" and more asking for confirmation on their answer to the reverse of their question: "what do you think an unbiased heterosexual man should feel stumbling upon [a heterosexual couple] kissing in public?"
- JumpCrisscross 2y ago
  > Why include the sexuality of that hypothetical person in the question if their sexual preferences were not intended to be part of the answer? They were speaking from the perspective of familiarity. The feeling they’re experiencing is probably mild disgust and/or fear, a typical reaction to the unknown and novel.
- kerkeslager 2y ago
  > They asked a question specifically about the feelings of a "heterosexual man". Why include the sexuality of that hypothetical person in the question if their sexual preferences were not intended to be part of the answer? > I don't mean that or my previous questions rhetorically. If you don't mean these questions rhetorically, then stop asking them in the form of a rhetorical question, where you propose an answer and ask a yes/no whether it's correct. If you're really asking, then you don't know the answer, so just ask the question and listen to the answer. For example, if you want to know why the sexuality of the person stumbling upon two men kissing is relevant, you can just ask, "Why is the sexuality of the person stumbling upon the two men kissing relevant?" You don't have to pose a hypothesis like "it's because the person would be aroused by seeing them kiss". That's just a weird hypothesis, limits answers to yes/no, and makes it sound like you're more interested in communicating that accusation than understanding what the person said. Curious people ask open-ended questions, not yes/no "Is X what you think?" type questions that sound a lot like you're accusing them of thinking X. "Why include the sexuality of that hypothetical person?" is a great question, and in fact, "Why is the sex/gender of the people kissing relevant?" is also a good question.

slg 2y ago

They asked a question specifically about the feelings of a "heterosexual man". Why include the sexuality of that hypothetical person in the question if their sexual preferences were not intended to be part of the answer? I don't mean that or my previous questions rhetorically. I was less "accusing him of saying random things that aren't there" and more asking for confirmation on their answer to the reverse of their question: "what do you think an unbiased heterosexual man should feel stumbling upon [a heterosexual couple] kissing in public?"

JumpCrisscross 2y ago
> Why include the sexuality of that hypothetical person in the question if their sexual preferences were not intended to be part of the answer? They were speaking from the perspective of familiarity. The feeling they’re experiencing is probably mild disgust and/or fear, a typical reaction to the unknown and novel.
kerkeslager 2y ago
> They asked a question specifically about the feelings of a "heterosexual man". Why include the sexuality of that hypothetical person in the question if their sexual preferences were not intended to be part of the answer? > I don't mean that or my previous questions rhetorically. If you don't mean these questions rhetorically, then stop asking them in the form of a rhetorical question, where you propose an answer and ask a yes/no whether it's correct. If you're really asking, then you don't know the answer, so just ask the question and listen to the answer. For example, if you want to know why the sexuality of the person stumbling upon two men kissing is relevant, you can just ask, "Why is the sexuality of the person stumbling upon the two men kissing relevant?" You don't have to pose a hypothesis like "it's because the person would be aroused by seeing them kiss". That's just a weird hypothesis, limits answers to yes/no, and makes it sound like you're more interested in communicating that accusation than understanding what the person said. Curious people ask open-ended questions, not yes/no "Is X what you think?" type questions that sound a lot like you're accusing them of thinking X. "Why include the sexuality of that hypothetical person?" is a great question, and in fact, "Why is the sex/gender of the people kissing relevant?" is also a good question.