Oh, that's easy: The well-documented real-world things My Team is doing right now are all justified when weighed against totally fictional debunked things which

Oh, that's easy: The well-documented real-world things My Team is doing right now are all justified when weighed against totally fictional debunked things which I have intensely imagined Your Team doing or attempting in an alternate history. These actions are required to prevent a repeat of the Bowling Green Massacre, the Jade Helm takeover of Texas, and the quantum Pizza Sex Dungeon. /s