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I think (from personal experience) talking with a good mental health professional would really help with your current state of mind and the pressure you’re feel

I think (from personal experience) talking with a good mental health professional would really help with your current state of mind and the pressure you’re feeling.

pdimitar 2y ago
Really? And how exactly? "Just man up", maybe? Sorry for the snark but I don't think they can just magically make you feel better. An example or two could change my mind.
- mmooss 2y ago
  > "Just man up", maybe? That's the toxic stuff you get from society, which leads to you hiring mental health professionals that can teach you healthy, effective ways of dealing with stress.
  - pdimitar 2y ago
    This much I know and have heard. Still curious about some examples though.
    - mmooss 2y ago
      Responding to your earlier comment, it's not magic and they don't do it, you do it. They help you learn how but it's up to you.
- kridsdale1 2y ago
  Every case is different. Therapists are brain debuggers. We don’t know what the bug is yet.
- 392 2y ago
  Look up "how to reduce salt" on YouTube. And remember, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
- jeremyjh 2y ago
  Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help with a wide range of issues. If there are worries that are not productive for you, that you can't get out of your head, a therapist can teach you how to use some basic tools to control that. And you'll probably only need a few visits. You can also read books, but given what you've stated I think you should start with a human. My son went to a few sessions and completely got his OCD under control. He doesn't have to go anymore. I used similar technique to quit smoking 30 years ago after at least a half-dozen serious tries by other means failed. Still off them. It applies to all kinds of issues though, its also very effective for depression. According to the literature studies I did twenty years ago, it was the only technique that actually showed sustained benefit for depression other than medication.
  - pdimitar 2y ago
    My depression comes from super severe learned helplessness. I have been extremely stupid with money and career choices and nowadays things got hard, I have several chronic health conditions and the difficulty got up not by 2x, more like 20x. I just can't muster the will to even do one job interview, financial reserves are dwindling fast and, you get the picture. I have zero faith any therapist can help me. They'll likely start with "but it's for your own good!" and I'll just say "yeah yeah, like 200 other things I have been told and zero of them turned out to be true". That's how I imagine it. I am not against paying professionals. Obviously. I just don't believe in therapy at all. What would you do to start with, with a guy like me? (I am aware you are not a therapist yourself.)
    - jasonshen 2y ago
      I am also not a therapist but I am a former tech founder turned executive coach so I do talk to people who are facing what feels like overwhelming challenges, risk, and uncertainty. Even in the language you used "severe learned helplessness" and "extremely stupid", you are revealing a state of mind (cynicism, self-flagellation) that is not oriented to improving your condition. You know you have a strong bias against therapists—given your seeming lack of knowledge about them, where do you think that bias came from? Fundamentally, we are a social species and evolved to live with strong connections to small groups. Our society is no longer set up like that. So professionals like therapists and coaches provide the essential value of a caring, supportive, and helpful relationship that we lack. Like getting an essential nutrient that your diet lacks. Do you have health insurance? Many of them cover mental health—the site Headway can help you find one that takes insurance. Try a few and gather some first-party data before writing them off fully. The downside is a few hundred dollars. The upside is a much brighter and materially better future.
- namshe 2y ago
  How do you know someone is a European? They think therapy and mental health issues are a silly American "trendy" fixation.
  - CannonSlugs 2y ago
    Trust me, us Europeans are not exempt from the "everyone should see a psychologist" trope blasting social media the last decade. We are not blind to every Hollywood actor having a personal therapist either. I think the main difference (speaking as a northern European) is that when you Americans speak of therapy you seem to mean the stereotypical "talk therapy" where as basically every therapy here is cognitive behavioral therapy. Can cognitive behavioral therapy help someone who has a bit of existential dread about his tech job? Maybe. I don't think it's silly on it's face though to say "really?" if the poster's life is in order otherwise.

I think (from personal experience) talking with a good mental health professional would really help with your current state of mind and the pressure you’re feeling.

pdimitar 2y ago

Really? And how exactly? "Just man up", maybe? Sorry for the snark but I don't think they can just magically make you feel better. An example or two could change my mind.

mmooss 2y ago
> "Just man up", maybe? That's the toxic stuff you get from society, which leads to you hiring mental health professionals that can teach you healthy, effective ways of dealing with stress.
- pdimitar 2y ago
  This much I know and have heard. Still curious about some examples though.
  - mmooss 2y ago
    Responding to your earlier comment, it's not magic and they don't do it, you do it. They help you learn how but it's up to you.
kridsdale1 2y ago
Every case is different. Therapists are brain debuggers. We don’t know what the bug is yet.
392 2y ago
Look up "how to reduce salt" on YouTube. And remember, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
jeremyjh 2y ago
Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help with a wide range of issues. If there are worries that are not productive for you, that you can't get out of your head, a therapist can teach you how to use some basic tools to control that. And you'll probably only need a few visits. You can also read books, but given what you've stated I think you should start with a human. My son went to a few sessions and completely got his OCD under control. He doesn't have to go anymore. I used similar technique to quit smoking 30 years ago after at least a half-dozen serious tries by other means failed. Still off them. It applies to all kinds of issues though, its also very effective for depression. According to the literature studies I did twenty years ago, it was the only technique that actually showed sustained benefit for depression other than medication.
- pdimitar 2y ago
  My depression comes from super severe learned helplessness. I have been extremely stupid with money and career choices and nowadays things got hard, I have several chronic health conditions and the difficulty got up not by 2x, more like 20x. I just can't muster the will to even do one job interview, financial reserves are dwindling fast and, you get the picture. I have zero faith any therapist can help me. They'll likely start with "but it's for your own good!" and I'll just say "yeah yeah, like 200 other things I have been told and zero of them turned out to be true". That's how I imagine it. I am not against paying professionals. Obviously. I just don't believe in therapy at all. What would you do to start with, with a guy like me? (I am aware you are not a therapist yourself.)
  - jasonshen 2y ago
    I am also not a therapist but I am a former tech founder turned executive coach so I do talk to people who are facing what feels like overwhelming challenges, risk, and uncertainty. Even in the language you used "severe learned helplessness" and "extremely stupid", you are revealing a state of mind (cynicism, self-flagellation) that is not oriented to improving your condition. You know you have a strong bias against therapists—given your seeming lack of knowledge about them, where do you think that bias came from? Fundamentally, we are a social species and evolved to live with strong connections to small groups. Our society is no longer set up like that. So professionals like therapists and coaches provide the essential value of a caring, supportive, and helpful relationship that we lack. Like getting an essential nutrient that your diet lacks. Do you have health insurance? Many of them cover mental health—the site Headway can help you find one that takes insurance. Try a few and gather some first-party data before writing them off fully. The downside is a few hundred dollars. The upside is a much brighter and materially better future.
namshe 2y ago
How do you know someone is a European? They think therapy and mental health issues are a silly American "trendy" fixation.
- CannonSlugs 2y ago
  Trust me, us Europeans are not exempt from the "everyone should see a psychologist" trope blasting social media the last decade. We are not blind to every Hollywood actor having a personal therapist either. I think the main difference (speaking as a northern European) is that when you Americans speak of therapy you seem to mean the stereotypical "talk therapy" where as basically every therapy here is cognitive behavioral therapy. Can cognitive behavioral therapy help someone who has a bit of existential dread about his tech job? Maybe. I don't think it's silly on it's face though to say "really?" if the poster's life is in order otherwise.