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Thank you so much for this article. It actually had examples and those are the best weapon women have against sexism/sexual harassment. It's one thing to talk a

Thank you so much for this article. It actually had examples and those are the best weapon women have against sexism/sexual harassment. It's one thing to talk about sexism vaguely and broadly and another to actually tell the stories. "I think this chick should lighten up personally." It's hard for males (me included) sometimes to relate to sexism (think of all the women in tech articles we've debated) or sexual harassment because we're not on the menu. We don't experience it. We aren't the prey. It isn't until men themselves feel vulnerable and dominated that they realize what an awful feeling it is to be invaded, harassed, or threatened sexually. From "innocent" ass grabbings to brutal rape. Men aren't frightened of such events because they'll probably never experience them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX2W8lgVUeA&list=FLpASQSYUahqjFWtNG2YW2Tw&index=7&feature=plpp_video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX2W8lgVUeA&list=FLpASQS... Enjoy. You'll see sexual harassment and rape in a whole new light after watching that video. Getting your ass squeezed doesn't sound so innocent now does it?

Tichy 14y ago
Who would say "lighten up" to somebody whose groin was groped? Just because one blogger suggested it, it still isn't the standard thing to say to women. I downvoted you for quoting this out of context from another article and fostering a harmful meme.
- ChrisNorstrom 14y ago
  "I think this chick should lighten up personally." Someone actually posted that HERE, in the comments below, it got such a negative score that the comment disappeared and most people on HN won't see it unless they have "dead" comments turned on in their HN settings. I was responding to that person. Despite there not being a lot of comments like that here (you'd get downvoted into oblivion) There are lots of guys like that all over the place. I get what you mean about it being hurtful to men. Being constantly shown as a primitive horny neanderthal with no self control makes all men look bad. It makes us feel bad to be represented that way. But it's not a "stereotype" it's a statistic, don't be in denial or run away from it.
  - Tichy 14y ago
    I don't deny that the world is full of jerks, but I don't think it is possible to cure them all. Better to simply avoid them. Although I can understand if somebody wants to defend their turf (create jerk-free zones). If the "ligthen up" comments are voted away, it seems to be a good thing? So why support the meme that "lighten up" is a standard response? You can always find people displaying any grade of sexism you desire and point to them saying "see, I told you so, sexism exists". It is just not a very useful thing to do.
    - ChrisNorstrom 14y ago
      Yes... ... ... ... that's ... why ... I posted the video of jail inmates describing how they sexual harass and rape men, many of whom simply got caught with Marijuana. Just hearing the descriptions and testimonies gave me E.D. for 2 days. When men see what it feels like to be preyed upon it might change the way they behave around women. One cannot just "avoid" people like that. You talk to people about it, you educate them about it. Avoiding racist people didn't give blacks the freedoms and acceptance they have today. That was achieved by confrontation, education, and telling their stories from a point of view that everyone can relate to. Same with sexism and sexual harassment. Men can joke around about rape all they want because they're never really have the fear of having it happen to them. They can harass women and grab their asses all they want because they've never felt what it's like to have a bigger and taller man sexually harass them.
      - Tichy 14y ago
        Sorry, I don't agree with your theory. You think men rape women because they have no idea what it feels like to be raped? That's the most ridiculous theory I have ever heard, can't put it in a nicer way.
    - mnicole 14y ago
      You can't just 'avoid' them; they're your co-workers, your managers, your family members. Likewise, voting a comment off of the screen doesn't mean it's "getting better", it means enough likeminded people were able to get their point across. Reddit illustrates the problem well; while the push for equality is out there and people are hearing it, it doesn't stop misogynist/otherwise hurtful responses to shoot up to the top, with little to no regret if it means laughs and upvotes. Until that's not the overwhelming response, it isn't getting better. Men don't understand the problem. They haven't had to deal with it and because they see themselves and their friends as upstanding citizens, they don't think these things happen as often as they do.

Tichy 14y ago

Who would say "lighten up" to somebody whose groin was groped? Just because one blogger suggested it, it still isn't the standard thing to say to women. I downvoted you for quoting this out of context from another article and fostering a harmful meme.

ChrisNorstrom 14y ago
"I think this chick should lighten up personally." Someone actually posted that HERE, in the comments below, it got such a negative score that the comment disappeared and most people on HN won't see it unless they have "dead" comments turned on in their HN settings. I was responding to that person. Despite there not being a lot of comments like that here (you'd get downvoted into oblivion) There are lots of guys like that all over the place. I get what you mean about it being hurtful to men. Being constantly shown as a primitive horny neanderthal with no self control makes all men look bad. It makes us feel bad to be represented that way. But it's not a "stereotype" it's a statistic, don't be in denial or run away from it.
- Tichy 14y ago
  I don't deny that the world is full of jerks, but I don't think it is possible to cure them all. Better to simply avoid them. Although I can understand if somebody wants to defend their turf (create jerk-free zones). If the "ligthen up" comments are voted away, it seems to be a good thing? So why support the meme that "lighten up" is a standard response? You can always find people displaying any grade of sexism you desire and point to them saying "see, I told you so, sexism exists". It is just not a very useful thing to do.
  - ChrisNorstrom 14y ago
    Yes... ... ... ... that's ... why ... I posted the video of jail inmates describing how they sexual harass and rape men, many of whom simply got caught with Marijuana. Just hearing the descriptions and testimonies gave me E.D. for 2 days. When men see what it feels like to be preyed upon it might change the way they behave around women. One cannot just "avoid" people like that. You talk to people about it, you educate them about it. Avoiding racist people didn't give blacks the freedoms and acceptance they have today. That was achieved by confrontation, education, and telling their stories from a point of view that everyone can relate to. Same with sexism and sexual harassment. Men can joke around about rape all they want because they're never really have the fear of having it happen to them. They can harass women and grab their asses all they want because they've never felt what it's like to have a bigger and taller man sexually harass them.
    - Tichy 14y ago
      Sorry, I don't agree with your theory. You think men rape women because they have no idea what it feels like to be raped? That's the most ridiculous theory I have ever heard, can't put it in a nicer way.
  - mnicole 14y ago
    You can't just 'avoid' them; they're your co-workers, your managers, your family members. Likewise, voting a comment off of the screen doesn't mean it's "getting better", it means enough likeminded people were able to get their point across. Reddit illustrates the problem well; while the push for equality is out there and people are hearing it, it doesn't stop misogynist/otherwise hurtful responses to shoot up to the top, with little to no regret if it means laughs and upvotes. Until that's not the overwhelming response, it isn't getting better. Men don't understand the problem. They haven't had to deal with it and because they see themselves and their friends as upstanding citizens, they don't think these things happen as often as they do.