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> Children seem to benefit primarily from watching relationships that genuinely make both parents happy. I think you'll find the data supports chidren benefiti

by thewanderer1983 2y ago

> Children seem to benefit primarily from watching relationships that genuinely make both parents happy. I think you'll find the data supports chidren benefiting from a happy loving home. Not from the concern of the parents relationships with others. My childhood friends were mostly from divorced parents and it very much impacted them all in negative ways. Parents are security blankets for children. It's who they run to when scared and need love. They are dependent on them survival. Ripping that apart causes harm.

smogcutter 2y ago
Most people with happy loving homes don’t get divorced.
- rightbyte 2y ago
  I know people with kids that have divorced for the most stupid reasons. In many cases I feel the problem could have fundamentally been solved by being better at dividing household work such that someone can rest one or two days and then switch. For many divorce seems to be a way to divide labour, which they could have done without one.
  - bowsamic 2y ago
    It is undeniable that it seems that way for us as outside observers at least. It seems more like both are stubborn and would rather burn everything than take responsibility. It would have to be pretty bad on the inside for that external appearance of the divorce to be justified at all
    - rightbyte 2y ago
      That is true. I might be reading too much of my own pain point into their situations.
Sohcahtoa82 2y ago
I don't think anybody will disagree that watching parents divorce is harmful to children. But I think parents sticking together for the kids is worse. Kids can see the contempt between their parents and might get the wrong impression that that's what a normal relationship looks like.
ForTheKidz 2y ago
> I think you'll find the data supports chidren benefiting from a happy loving home. Not from the concern of the parents relationships with others. I don't know how you'd exclude the influence of parents relationships from impacting the happiness of a home. If a kid is aware of a relationship, they're absorbing.

smogcutter 2y ago

Most people with happy loving homes don’t get divorced.

rightbyte 2y ago
I know people with kids that have divorced for the most stupid reasons. In many cases I feel the problem could have fundamentally been solved by being better at dividing household work such that someone can rest one or two days and then switch. For many divorce seems to be a way to divide labour, which they could have done without one.
- bowsamic 2y ago
  It is undeniable that it seems that way for us as outside observers at least. It seems more like both are stubborn and would rather burn everything than take responsibility. It would have to be pretty bad on the inside for that external appearance of the divorce to be justified at all
  - rightbyte 2y ago
    That is true. I might be reading too much of my own pain point into their situations.

Sohcahtoa82 2y ago

I don't think anybody will disagree that watching parents divorce is harmful to children. But I think parents sticking together for the kids is worse. Kids can see the contempt between their parents and might get the wrong impression that that's what a normal relationship looks like.

ForTheKidz 2y ago

> I think you'll find the data supports chidren benefiting from a happy loving home. Not from the concern of the parents relationships with others. I don't know how you'd exclude the influence of parents relationships from impacting the happiness of a home. If a kid is aware of a relationship, they're absorbing.