4 ms·

It took me into my forties to realize that I needed to stop thinking about what I want to be and focus on what I want to do. Only then did I have enough perspe

by jp57 2y ago

It took me into my forties to realize that I needed to stop thinking about what I want to be and focus on what I want to do. Only then did I have enough perspective to understand that when I tried to make career decisions based on expectations about what it means to be in a role, it always steered me wrong. OTOH, when I focused on doing what I wanted to do or enjoyed doing, I generally ended up both happy and successful. It has, however, led me into roles where I have a hard time explaining to people what I am, exactly.

LoganDark 2y ago
> It has, however, led me into roles where I have a hard time explaining to people what I am, exactly. what about "doing what you love"? "I am doing what I love, which is X"
hnuser123456 2y ago
The roles that are hard to define are the most interesting, often to others as well. Just practice a few different responses to "so what do you do?" that come from a few different contexts. The definition of self is fully embedded in your answers.
- vkou 2y ago
  Honest answer? I make rich people richer. Probably best to not look at the self too much, down that way lie essays about alienation of labor.
  - alabastervlog 2y ago
    What's awesome about tech is that the vast majority of what I'm paid to do loses rich people money. I can often even tell in advance that's what'll happen. After 20 years in this career I'm honestly not sure if the realized value of my work product is even in the black, LOL. "I make rich people poorer" is kinda a fun reframing of "I make stuff that gets thrown away without ever doing any good."
    - ryandrake 2y ago
      Wow, talk about life goals! Now I'm curious! I'd love to know any specifics that you feel like sharing. As someone in the usual "make shareholders even richer" industry, I can't think of a more noble goal than actually taking the rich down a few rungs.
      - alabastervlog 2y ago
        Startups with mediocre ideas and execution, large companies launching initiatives that are crazy-expensive and probably not helpful, agencies taking projects from those two categories.
      - robertlagrant 2y ago
        Anything that improves normal people's lives is probably more noble than trying to take money from rich people.
- lylejantzi3rd 2y ago
  I don't even try to answer that question seriously anymore. "I run a team of hackers. Did your power go out last night for 10 minutes? That was us." "I sell hemorrhoid cream." "I'm a small business owner. We make teledildonics." To this day, nobody has ever asked me what "teledildonics" is. Either they already know or they don't care.
  - hnuser123456 2y ago
    Even to people you might want to impress?
    - lylejantzi3rd 2y ago
      When was the last time you can remember being impressed with somebody solely because of what they said they did for a living?
      - spking 2y ago
        A fighter pilot.
        vkou 2y ago
        That would strongly depend on whose side they were fighting on.
        robertlagrant 2y ago
        Whose planes are unimpressive to fly?
      - defrost 2y ago
        Seven months ago: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41021527 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41021527 somewhat tongue in cheek
  - strken 2y ago
grumpymuppet 2y ago
This really resonated with me (I'm now in my 40s). I missed out on so much because I never pushed back on management who asked me to do X, Y, or Z. "Oh, that's the priority" I'd tell myself. Nope, that was their ass getting promoted by managing a bigger team. Repeatedly hearing "we don't do X, Y, or Z" when I saw an opportunity to innovate. Nope, that was just an uncreative bored person who didn't want to play along. I simultaneously feel so lucky to be where I am and so absolutely frustrated at how poorly run and disorganized EVERYTHING seems to be. I've decided in the next phase of life to kind of do like you suggest. Focus on "the doing" of something I like. I may even have that opportunity, but my area is facing a lot of instability lately, so I hope it works out.

by jp57 2y ago

LoganDark 2y ago

> It has, however, led me into roles where I have a hard time explaining to people what I am, exactly. what about "doing what you love"? "I am doing what I love, which is X"

hnuser123456 2y ago

The roles that are hard to define are the most interesting, often to others as well. Just practice a few different responses to "so what do you do?" that come from a few different contexts. The definition of self is fully embedded in your answers.

vkou 2y ago
Honest answer? I make rich people richer. Probably best to not look at the self too much, down that way lie essays about alienation of labor.
- alabastervlog 2y ago
  What's awesome about tech is that the vast majority of what I'm paid to do loses rich people money. I can often even tell in advance that's what'll happen. After 20 years in this career I'm honestly not sure if the realized value of my work product is even in the black, LOL. "I make rich people poorer" is kinda a fun reframing of "I make stuff that gets thrown away without ever doing any good."
  - ryandrake 2y ago
    Wow, talk about life goals! Now I'm curious! I'd love to know any specifics that you feel like sharing. As someone in the usual "make shareholders even richer" industry, I can't think of a more noble goal than actually taking the rich down a few rungs.
    - alabastervlog 2y ago
      Startups with mediocre ideas and execution, large companies launching initiatives that are crazy-expensive and probably not helpful, agencies taking projects from those two categories.
    - robertlagrant 2y ago
      Anything that improves normal people's lives is probably more noble than trying to take money from rich people.
lylejantzi3rd 2y ago
I don't even try to answer that question seriously anymore. "I run a team of hackers. Did your power go out last night for 10 minutes? That was us." "I sell hemorrhoid cream." "I'm a small business owner. We make teledildonics." To this day, nobody has ever asked me what "teledildonics" is. Either they already know or they don't care.
- hnuser123456 2y ago
  Even to people you might want to impress?
  - lylejantzi3rd 2y ago
    When was the last time you can remember being impressed with somebody solely because of what they said they did for a living?
    - spking 2y ago
      A fighter pilot.
      - vkou 2y ago
        That would strongly depend on whose side they were fighting on.
        robertlagrant 2y ago
        Whose planes are unimpressive to fly?
    - defrost 2y ago
      Seven months ago: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41021527 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41021527 somewhat tongue in cheek
- strken 2y ago

grumpymuppet 2y ago

This really resonated with me (I'm now in my 40s). I missed out on so much because I never pushed back on management who asked me to do X, Y, or Z. "Oh, that's the priority" I'd tell myself. Nope, that was their ass getting promoted by managing a bigger team. Repeatedly hearing "we don't do X, Y, or Z" when I saw an opportunity to innovate. Nope, that was just an uncreative bored person who didn't want to play along. I simultaneously feel so lucky to be where I am and so absolutely frustrated at how poorly run and disorganized EVERYTHING seems to be. I've decided in the next phase of life to kind of do like you suggest. Focus on "the doing" of something I like. I may even have that opportunity, but my area is facing a lot of instability lately, so I hope it works out.