3 ms·
No I really haven’t overcome the setbacks, they have really overturned my life. On paper I am doing all the “right” things, but inside I am a shell of a person
by purple-leafy 2y ago
No I really haven’t overcome the setbacks, they have really overturned my life.
On paper I am doing all the “right” things, but inside I am a shell of a person. I’ve been in this situation before, and I’m always proactive, but I’m just a husk of a human being at this point.
Cultural background is western, family background is that I’m from a very fucked up dysfunctional family.
In terms of liking myself, I’ve never been able to answer that question. I thought having solid morals would do that, but I’ve broken my own morals several times - so that’s a no go. I thought getting fit would do it, but it became quite disordered. I thought making friends would do it, but I fundamentally can’t connect or relate to most people. My best friend is an elderly academic Chinese man, I’m a 30 something white guy.
My inner dialogue is pretty horrible. I’m extremely hard on myself and it’s only gotten worse with age. When I achieve things I say I’m proud of myself but that’s it. Yes I feel like I have to earn my confidence.
- lordkrandel 2y agoDo you think you need many connections? History is full of hermits who ate herbs and drank milk. You don't need to achieve to feel confident, just to prove to yourself you are sufficient. Your dysfunctional family is the problem that emerged. This will set your mind up for a long time. I grew with a mother that loved me with too much affection, and I grew dependent as a person. That can also be a problem, huh? How can I go outside in a world in war and stay sane.l, with all the needs for caring I still have. But then I see people like you, and I'm genuinly moved to tears, 'cause I feel you and that's all I got for today.