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I have started being completely honest in communications, mostly instead of nodding and agreeing (especially at work) I have started to say “I don’t get it” mor

I have started being completely honest in communications, mostly instead of nodding and agreeing (especially at work) I have started to say “I don’t get it” more often. I think it’s a good first step. It’s interesting what you say about exiled from the tribe. I have done “weird” things and made weird decisions like getting rid of all social media, and using a dumb phone for a long time. Out of principle, but it isolates me further. I dont really do stuff that others do, I’m not a “sheep” I guess but I wish I was. People always say “be yourself” and I do that I think, but it isolates me from people and peers. ADHD and arthritis at a young age, successes like selling software ventures, sacrificing personal time to study, all this has just isolated me further. I used to think this was drive, but what’s the point if you end up alone

Terr_ 2y ago
What I mean is that there's a very old part of everyone's brain that floods them with stress-hormones if it thinks they might be exiled to be eaten by tigers, and while the system is insistent and disruptive, the good news is that it isn't too picky. Just being a member of some regularly-meeting group can help. It doesn't require (or necessarily respond) to things like "knowing my cosmic purpose" or "being the best at X", although some people try to sate it that way. In other words, psychological safety needs are the foundation for other forms of confidence.
lordkrandel 2y ago
No social media isolates you on the short run. But joining groups and doing things just for the pleasure will connect you deeper with other people. Let time do its thing. You are 30, go with the flow, there's so much time. Heal a bit, and when your perspective will turn, your scorned, disappointed synapses will grow back to accept new connections and life. Send me messages on gmail. I can be a connection.

Terr_ 2y ago

What I mean is that there's a very old part of everyone's brain that floods them with stress-hormones if it thinks they might be exiled to be eaten by tigers, and while the system is insistent and disruptive, the good news is that it isn't too picky. Just being a member of some regularly-meeting group can help. It doesn't require (or necessarily respond) to things like "knowing my cosmic purpose" or "being the best at X", although some people try to sate it that way. In other words, psychological safety needs are the foundation for other forms of confidence.

lordkrandel 2y ago

No social media isolates you on the short run. But joining groups and doing things just for the pleasure will connect you deeper with other people. Let time do its thing. You are 30, go with the flow, there's so much time. Heal a bit, and when your perspective will turn, your scorned, disappointed synapses will grow back to accept new connections and life. Send me messages on gmail. I can be a connection.