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Now you've got two problems: 1. Child who isn't favored feels alienated And choose one of the following: 2a. When the agreeable child grows up and learns val

Now you've got two problems: 1. Child who isn't favored feels alienated And choose one of the following: 2a. When the agreeable child grows up and learns valuable skills-- how to say no, how to assert themselves and their needs-- they'll feel the "natural" favored treatment from their parents start to change, and that will damage their relationship 2b. Agreeable child doesn't develop the skills to assert themselves for fear of damaging their relationship with their parents (which they "naturally" know is based on their agreeableness) and harbor resentments among other unhealthy habits

triceratops 2y ago
> Child who isn't favored feels alienated Well...yeah that's why you shouldn't favor children. I never said it was problem-free. Only natural.
bityard 2y ago
> Child who isn't favored feels alienated You say that as if it's a foregone conclusion? We have two children, each one on their own extreme end of the agreeability spectrum. One has been a breeze to raise, the other is its own full-time job. The end result is that our "easy" child sometimes feels ignored while the more challenging one soaks up most of our attention and time. > 2a. When the agreeable child grows up and learns valuable skills-- how to say no, how to assert themselves and their needs-- they'll feel the "natural" favored treatment from their parents start to change, and that will damage their relationship Again, I don't see why that would be the case. A _good_ parent teachers their child to be independent and make their own decisions and is proud of them when they do. > 2b. Agreeable child doesn't develop the skills to assert themselves for fear of damaging their relationship with their parents (which they "naturally" know is based on their agreeableness) and harbor resentments among other unhealthy habits If that happens, that is the fault of overbearing and/or controlling parents. Good parents teach their kids when to speak up for themselves, accept valid criticism, and otherwise teach effective communication.

triceratops 2y ago

> Child who isn't favored feels alienated Well...yeah that's why you shouldn't favor children. I never said it was problem-free. Only natural.

bityard 2y ago

> Child who isn't favored feels alienated You say that as if it's a foregone conclusion? We have two children, each one on their own extreme end of the agreeability spectrum. One has been a breeze to raise, the other is its own full-time job. The end result is that our "easy" child sometimes feels ignored while the more challenging one soaks up most of our attention and time. > 2a. When the agreeable child grows up and learns valuable skills-- how to say no, how to assert themselves and their needs-- they'll feel the "natural" favored treatment from their parents start to change, and that will damage their relationship Again, I don't see why that would be the case. A _good_ parent teachers their child to be independent and make their own decisions and is proud of them when they do. > 2b. Agreeable child doesn't develop the skills to assert themselves for fear of damaging their relationship with their parents (which they "naturally" know is based on their agreeableness) and harbor resentments among other unhealthy habits If that happens, that is the fault of overbearing and/or controlling parents. Good parents teach their kids when to speak up for themselves, accept valid criticism, and otherwise teach effective communication.