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I struggle to define what community is. Some years ago, I went to Las Vegas to watch some performances, and to this day, I think Las Vegas is the most social an

I struggle to define what community is. Some years ago, I went to Las Vegas to watch some performances, and to this day, I think Las Vegas is the most social and most lonely place I've ever been. There's people everywhere and no one is interacting in any meaningful way. My belief is that to make friends and build connections, one of the only ways is to solve problems or face adversity together. Adversity meaning: "How do I do this bouldering route? It's so tricky.", etc. I see people pointing at social media, but I don't think this is the issue. I think the issue is that life is boring; most problems are solved. There's nothing to talk about. Why go learn guitar when AI can make a song for you?

the_snooze 2y ago
>I see people pointing at social media, but I don't think this is the issue. I think the issue is that life is boring; most problems are solved. There's nothing to talk about. Why go learn guitar when AI can make a song for you? It's not that life is boring. It's that life is too convenient, to the point that it's easy for the convenience to crowd out the meaningful stuff. Why learn guitar when a machine can make music for you? Because learning an instrument is fun and fulfilling. It's not convenient (your fingers will hurt and barre chords will frustrate you), but it's deeply satisfying in a way that you won't get in an AI generator. And that satisfaction allows you to connect with other peole who prioritize that very human value over "efficiency" or "problem solving." Cook instead of ordering Doordash. Talk to people over drinks instead of electronically. Walk somewhere instead of taking a car. It's hard to be bored if you allow yourself to slow down and enjoy life.
marssaxman 2y ago
> one of the only ways is to solve problems or face adversity together This is why Burning Man is such an effective community-generator, which in turn is part of the reason people tend to get culty about it. Throw yourself into a week of harsh, primitive conditions with a group of people working together to survive, thrive, and build something you can share with others, and it's easy to go home feeling like you are surrounded by friends - part of something greater than yourself.
losteric 2y ago
> I think the issue is that life is boring; most problems are solved. There's nothing to talk about. Why go learn guitar when AI can make a song for you? Why learn piano 200 years ago? We would’ve been forgettable even back then. Life and the mundane is interesting, most people can be loved in some platonic friendly sense. Doing so is an active skill society seems to have forgotten. I was in a large extrovert group recently, talking to a new person over a drink… we got to talking about their grad school research, which didn’t pan out and which they’d largely moved on from in work… just 5-10 minutes on that and they were so excited and connected because “no one is ever interested”. Their boisterous group was just that, jokey chatty nothing, all noise no signal. Another friend, just yesterday, we spent 20 minutes talking about ice cream over ice cream after 2hrs hanging out 1:1. If someone doesn’t have something to talk about, they are either surrounded by bad friends, have some self-work to do, or they are a corpse.

the_snooze 2y ago

>I see people pointing at social media, but I don't think this is the issue. I think the issue is that life is boring; most problems are solved. There's nothing to talk about. Why go learn guitar when AI can make a song for you? It's not that life is boring. It's that life is too convenient, to the point that it's easy for the convenience to crowd out the meaningful stuff. Why learn guitar when a machine can make music for you? Because learning an instrument is fun and fulfilling. It's not convenient (your fingers will hurt and barre chords will frustrate you), but it's deeply satisfying in a way that you won't get in an AI generator. And that satisfaction allows you to connect with other peole who prioritize that very human value over "efficiency" or "problem solving." Cook instead of ordering Doordash. Talk to people over drinks instead of electronically. Walk somewhere instead of taking a car. It's hard to be bored if you allow yourself to slow down and enjoy life.

marssaxman 2y ago

> one of the only ways is to solve problems or face adversity together This is why Burning Man is such an effective community-generator, which in turn is part of the reason people tend to get culty about it. Throw yourself into a week of harsh, primitive conditions with a group of people working together to survive, thrive, and build something you can share with others, and it's easy to go home feeling like you are surrounded by friends - part of something greater than yourself.

losteric 2y ago

> I think the issue is that life is boring; most problems are solved. There's nothing to talk about. Why go learn guitar when AI can make a song for you? Why learn piano 200 years ago? We would’ve been forgettable even back then. Life and the mundane is interesting, most people can be loved in some platonic friendly sense. Doing so is an active skill society seems to have forgotten. I was in a large extrovert group recently, talking to a new person over a drink… we got to talking about their grad school research, which didn’t pan out and which they’d largely moved on from in work… just 5-10 minutes on that and they were so excited and connected because “no one is ever interested”. Their boisterous group was just that, jokey chatty nothing, all noise no signal. Another friend, just yesterday, we spent 20 minutes talking about ice cream over ice cream after 2hrs hanging out 1:1. If someone doesn’t have something to talk about, they are either surrounded by bad friends, have some self-work to do, or they are a corpse.