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I believe you don't see yourself as overdrawn and it's nice not to have any debt. This might be hard to read but I write it in sincere support. You write that

I believe you don't see yourself as overdrawn and it's nice not to have any debt. This might be hard to read but I write it in sincere support. You write that you are 50 and a technical/software architect at a mega-corp. This implies that you should have a salary exceeding the majority of the population around you. As such, it is possible for a large portion of the population to live on far less money, showing that it is possible. I might suggest that you consider yourself overdrawn in that your future self hasn't been receiving enough of your income. You say you save but at 50, not having 30% means you haven't saved long enough or you are looking at higher cost accommodation than you should. I would personally caution you against a long term loan at this stage since that can hold you in place (i.e. in your unloved role). A mortgage is something that held my feet to the fire and still does though far less than it did. There are tools like You Need A Budget (YNAB) and others but you need to start asking what costs you are choosing that keeps you from reducing your expenses enough to make choose trade offs that let you feel happier and more free. As an architect you should be very familiar with the "all decisions involve trade offs and costs" mindset, just apply it to your finances.

wkat4242 2y ago
Ahh by 'overdrawn' I thought you were referring to the overdraft facility on bank accounts. Which is basically a short-term loan. I understand you mean overdrawn in the more psychological sense. In that case yeah I probably am. So I'm making more than people around me yes. But here in Spain that's still not a lot. And as far as saving, I've been moving around a lot and that tends to make that harder. I'm also very bad at finances. And I'm a bad architect too. I'm more of an engineer really. The problem is that that used to be the same thing at this company for a while.
- erikerikson 2y ago
  I meant it to include your sustainable psychological load but I mean it more holistically. We have resources that are financial, intellectual, temporal, emotional, relational, and more. We make balancing decisions based off our relative value structures over those values. Based off a quick search, it seems you should be looking at 1.5-4 times average. That would leave you with a minimum of 33% available for saving but you could live in a particularly high cost of living area or be subject to other factors. I have struggled to understand why the salaries across Europe seem to be on such a different scale and would have tried to move there if they were more comparable. Please understand, I don't mean to criticize. I have been in similar situations and still particularly struggle with the constant pressure to detach from the craft to become a people manager (eh, hem... influencer). I've found that the most valuable asset to changing my relationship with money is self compassion and self love. After all, good money (and life) choices are about making tomorrow always better than yesterday and helping others on to the same path. What better way can we care for ourselves? Anyway, I wish you the best and hope these comments might help you find your path to joy.

wkat4242 2y ago

Ahh by 'overdrawn' I thought you were referring to the overdraft facility on bank accounts. Which is basically a short-term loan. I understand you mean overdrawn in the more psychological sense. In that case yeah I probably am. So I'm making more than people around me yes. But here in Spain that's still not a lot. And as far as saving, I've been moving around a lot and that tends to make that harder. I'm also very bad at finances. And I'm a bad architect too. I'm more of an engineer really. The problem is that that used to be the same thing at this company for a while.

erikerikson 2y ago
I meant it to include your sustainable psychological load but I mean it more holistically. We have resources that are financial, intellectual, temporal, emotional, relational, and more. We make balancing decisions based off our relative value structures over those values. Based off a quick search, it seems you should be looking at 1.5-4 times average. That would leave you with a minimum of 33% available for saving but you could live in a particularly high cost of living area or be subject to other factors. I have struggled to understand why the salaries across Europe seem to be on such a different scale and would have tried to move there if they were more comparable. Please understand, I don't mean to criticize. I have been in similar situations and still particularly struggle with the constant pressure to detach from the craft to become a people manager (eh, hem... influencer). I've found that the most valuable asset to changing my relationship with money is self compassion and self love. After all, good money (and life) choices are about making tomorrow always better than yesterday and helping others on to the same path. What better way can we care for ourselves? Anyway, I wish you the best and hope these comments might help you find your path to joy.