What? No no, to be fast you need the whole database only in RAM! And SQL is hard so just make it a giant KV store. Schemas are also hard so all values are just

What? No no, to be fast you need the whole database only in RAM! And SQL is hard so just make it a giant KV store. Schemas are also hard so all values are just amorphous JSON blobs. Might as well store images in the database too. Since it's RAM it'll be so fast! /s