5 ms·
Personal networks only disadvantage those who have none.
by tempodox 2y ago
Personal networks only disadvantage those who have none.
- ghaff 2y agoI suspect many people who don't have strong networks for whatever reason resent that. To which you could probably tack on not having gone to the "right" schools or having a public portfolio.
- apwell23 2y agoalso hard on introverts who already get punished in workplaces that promote ppl based on proximity and visiblity.
- ghaff 2y agoWell, they also promote people based on impact and, with rare exceptions, if you're holed up in a corner someplace you're probably not having a huge amount of impact.
- floating-io 2y agoReality is that the ones quietly holed up in the corner are usually doing all the unsexy maintenance-type work that the extroverts don't want to do (because it's not sexy). Nobody cares about that work... until it doesn't get done. And so, nobody doing it gets promoted.
- ghaff 2y agoOr it gets outsourced which is what often happens.
- ambicapter 2y agoCommunicating the importance of your work is a professional skill.
- ghaff 2y agoAnd if it actually isn't very important, you should probably find something else to do or move on in some other way.
- apwell23 2y agoIf it was all about impact then ppl wouldn't be paying thousands of dollars to learn to play golf with their bosses. But you knew that already.
- ghaff 2y agoIs closing deals on the golf course even still a thing these days? I suppose it probably is in some circles but I haven't seen it in a couple of decades of tech industry life when it was more likely to be fun runs or skiing.
- scarface_74 2y agoDealing with people and communication can be learned. I get it. By nature I was very much an introvert except for certain scenarios when I was in my comfort zone until at least my mid 30s. I was an only child, the stereotypical short, fat kid with a computer growing up in the 80s (still short, became a gym rat, part time fitness instructor and only stopped the latter as my other obligations became greater). Horrible dating life and a bad first marriage before turning 35 (happily remarried since then). It became apparent that to get ahead in my career, “codez real gud” was going to limit my career. I slowly learned how to “act like I like people”. But you can only add so much value to an organization typing on a keyboard. There is a reason that every single tech company promotes based on “impact”, “scope”, “dealing with ambiguity”. Those all require soft skills.
- ghaff 2y agoWell put. I'm an introvert, I can't do math, I won't travel, etc. are all things that some people claim as if it's the unchangeable nature of things. If that's their chosen path, so be it. But they should understand it will probably be pretty limiting because the world they live in.
- apwell23 2y agoYes they are unchangeable. I've tried many many times to break out of it; it works for a while but i revert back to my base behavior. We know what kinds of temperament a dog has within few months of it being a puppy ( and who the puppy's parents are). Why would it be different for humans. Claim that Our temperaments ( and our likes/dislikes for travel) are all learnt is a bizzare blank slate claim that doesn't track with my life experience and what i've seen in the world.
- scarface_74 2y agoI hated small talk traditionally. It was very much a learned trait. One of the best conversation openers is “what keeps you busy?” and then ask open ended questions. Ask about their favorite travel destinations or even what are some interesting things about where they live. On the other hand, step outside your comfort zone and try something different so you have something to talk about interesting. https://tynan.com/letstalk/ https://tynan.com/letstalk/ You didn’t become a software developer overnight. You won’t become a great conversationalist over night either. “How to Talk to Anyone” https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships-ebook/dp/B000SEI4V0?dplnkId=6f3629fe-ed85-4f9d-9b61-d0d581a2a078&nodl=1 https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships... (not an affiliate link)
- BobaFloutist 2y agoBelieve it or not, extroverts also have to develop professional skills, sometimes even things that don't come naturally to them.
- erikerikson 2y agoNo question. Yet, social connection seems worth 10x or 100x competence in any particular circumstance and the effects compound. There are some real benefits from and needs to be prosocial and socially competent but I've regularly seen social competent but technically incompetent people advance far over technically competent but less socially agenda driving people (that are nonetheless socially competent). This only gets worse at scale and as you progress. I love coding and do it reliably well with joy but as my career has progressed I've struggled more and more with getting a company to let me work at a "low level" or to navigating what seem like sociopathic behaviors to really contribute at my capacity.
- no_wizard 2y agoWhat do you mean by 'low level'? Are you talking about a traditional Staff / Principal engineering role or something different?
- erikerikson 2y agoSorry for my lack of clarity, yes. Pure code and technical contribution, up to mentoring, as opposed to holding architecture summits, politicking, and the like. I've been pushed into management and socializing without regard to my willingness.
- Exoristos 2y agoAs one, I have to say there's really nothing about being an introvert that prevents one from being affable and available. The idea is that human interaction does not boost the introvert's energy the way it does the extrovert's, not that it's impossible.
- philomath_mn 2y agoSelf advocacy is part of the job. And just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you are incapable of building soft skills. Talking to people is absolutely exhausting for me, but I force myself to do it and practice at it because I know it is important for my career.