+1 to everyone saying the style is really hard to read. The second-person narration is part of that; but for my money the biggest problem is that the author can

+1 to everyone saying the style is really hard to read. The second-person narration is part of that; but for my money the biggest problem is that the author can't decide whether the story is being told in present tense or past tense. Pick a point of view and stick with it! Either you're telling the story as it happens (present tense), or you're telling it after it happens (past tense), but you shouldn't keep switching viewpoints with every sentence. Frequently this story switches viewpoints within the same sentence. And it's not done in anything like an intentional style; my default assumption when reading something that feels like bad fanfic is that the writer simply doesn't know any better. "This job, it was you. Every sentence, every bullet point, they all described you [...] You fire off a copy of your résumé. [...] As each employee taps their badge, the turnstile emits a pleasant green [...] You were directed to the gate at the far end, which the receptionist opens manually [...] you are absolutely speechless [...] The only words that were polite but nonspecific enough to fill the absolutely dead air that now fills the room." Turnstiles emit green pleasantly, as Noam Chomsky might once have said. Style points for gratuitous misuse of the word "catachresis." (Autocatachresis?)