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Right -- I mean the misery at work is what I cannot relate to. Furthermore, if the best way to support my family and to live my non-professional life is to tak

Right -- I mean the misery at work is what I cannot relate to. Furthermore, if the best way to support my family and to live my non-professional life is to take a punch in the stomach each morning, I think I'd find a way to deal with it?

alabastervlog 2y ago
Yeah, the counter-point to this is something like Yates' Revolutionary Road—you're not as special as you think, you definitely don't have the ambition to back up the way you think your life should look and probably not enough to make anything of it even if you were dropped into that situation for free, most of your misery is because you think you should have something else, and hey, look around—of course you don't like your job, that's the deal, and the more "nice life" you want the less you'll like it, and that accidental-success you're seeing there without even trying is something you should be leaning into rather than being repulsed by. In short, being a little clever just means you can live normal life on easy mode and you shouldn't feel bad about that, and wanting something more meaningful or glamorous or romantic without actively putting in the work to make that happen and accepting the sacrifices that come with it is just you making yourself miserable for no good reason. (And of course if you're in the throes of that sort of a mood, being familiar with the above perspective just makes it worse, even as it offers a way out to acceptance of a life as an ordinary schlub who doesn't have things too hard, LOL) [EDIT] I'm nearing the end and I think, to this piece's credit, some of this criticism of the perspective character's ("your") mindset is present as both text and subtext, plus a good deal of the darker thoughts and moments we're clearly to take as the output of a mind that's unwell and trying to square external reality, perceived un-reality of their situation, a certain awareness of their own privilege, plus the inescapable fact that they simply are not doing OK and are aware that they aren't and also aware that they should be and everyone else seems to be—rather than taking them as something the author intends for us to take as big-T or objectively True just because the perspective character is presenting these thoughts to us.

alabastervlog 2y ago

Yeah, the counter-point to this is something like Yates' Revolutionary Road—you're not as special as you think, you definitely don't have the ambition to back up the way you think your life should look and probably not enough to make anything of it even if you were dropped into that situation for free, most of your misery is because you think you should have something else, and hey, look around—of course you don't like your job, that's the deal, and the more "nice life" you want the less you'll like it, and that accidental-success you're seeing there without even trying is something you should be leaning into rather than being repulsed by. In short, being a little clever just means you can live normal life on easy mode and you shouldn't feel bad about that, and wanting something more meaningful or glamorous or romantic without actively putting in the work to make that happen and accepting the sacrifices that come with it is just you making yourself miserable for no good reason. (And of course if you're in the throes of that sort of a mood, being familiar with the above perspective just makes it worse, even as it offers a way out to acceptance of a life as an ordinary schlub who doesn't have things too hard, LOL) [EDIT] I'm nearing the end and I think, to this piece's credit, some of this criticism of the perspective character's ("your") mindset is present as both text and subtext, plus a good deal of the darker thoughts and moments we're clearly to take as the output of a mind that's unwell and trying to square external reality, perceived un-reality of their situation, a certain awareness of their own privilege, plus the inescapable fact that they simply are not doing OK and are aware that they aren't and also aware that they should be and everyone else seems to be—rather than taking them as something the author intends for us to take as big-T or objectively True just because the perspective character is presenting these thoughts to us.