4 ms·

> If you hire a driver, or use a taxi, offer to pay the driver to take you to visit their mother. Uhh, I really can't imagine this one working well in a Wester

> If you hire a driver, or use a taxi, offer to pay the driver to take you to visit their mother. Uhh, I really can't imagine this one working well in a Western country.

ghaff 2y ago
Almost certainly would seem weirder in some places or circumstances than others. One of those things in the list I have certainly never considered.
- vintagedave 2y ago
  Once in Vietnam, our cab driver asked if he could pause at home on the way. We said yes. So he drove home, his wife gave him lunch, we tried it too, met her and his kids and his friendly half-street-half-pet dogs, and then went back to our hotel. And I still remember it... whereas I cannot remember our other taxi rides!
eszed 2y ago
A "weaker" version of this is to ask your driver personal questions. Obviously stop if they make it really clear they don't want to talk at all, but there's a psychology about talking to strangers you know you won't see again that lets many people open up in ways they wouldn't in maybe any other circumstances. I've - Seen more baby and kid-milestone photos than I can count. - Been told a brutal war story by a tow-truck driver in Kentucky ("did you know blood from the liver is almost black?") that - though he didn't say it, explicitly - I don't think he'd ever talked about to anyone. - Heard about someone's life's-work in AIDS prevention. - Learned about the Philippine Civil War from a former airforce Colonel. (Highlight: he and his best friend / roommate in the military academy chose different sides. They privately promised each other that they'd find a way to communicate if their units were ever ordered to attack the other.) - Heard first-hand about the horrifying obstacles the US government placed in the paths of Afghani translators (for the US Army) trying to immigrate to safety in the US. - Met a Singaporean former mercenary, who told me all about doing private security for illegal gold mines in New Guinea. He was very matter of fact (and entirely unrepentant) about having indiscriminately shot local villagers and government forces. Several of his buddies were killed by bow and arrow in an attack during which he cut and ran ("their families are still mad at me"). It was all a madcap adventure, as far as he was concerned, and then he showed me pictures of his boat. Looking at that list, I guess don't do it if you don't want to be trauma-dumped, but I'm quite socially awkward, so you don't have to let that stop you. Most people don't seem to care - they have stories they want to tell, and will tell them, if you'll listen.

> If you hire a driver, or use a taxi, offer to pay the driver to take you to visit their mother. Uhh, I really can't imagine this one working well in a Western country.

ghaff 2y ago

Almost certainly would seem weirder in some places or circumstances than others. One of those things in the list I have certainly never considered.

vintagedave 2y ago
Once in Vietnam, our cab driver asked if he could pause at home on the way. We said yes. So he drove home, his wife gave him lunch, we tried it too, met her and his kids and his friendly half-street-half-pet dogs, and then went back to our hotel. And I still remember it... whereas I cannot remember our other taxi rides!

eszed 2y ago

A "weaker" version of this is to ask your driver personal questions. Obviously stop if they make it really clear they don't want to talk at all, but there's a psychology about talking to strangers you know you won't see again that lets many people open up in ways they wouldn't in maybe any other circumstances. I've - Seen more baby and kid-milestone photos than I can count. - Been told a brutal war story by a tow-truck driver in Kentucky ("did you know blood from the liver is almost black?") that - though he didn't say it, explicitly - I don't think he'd ever talked about to anyone. - Heard about someone's life's-work in AIDS prevention. - Learned about the Philippine Civil War from a former airforce Colonel. (Highlight: he and his best friend / roommate in the military academy chose different sides. They privately promised each other that they'd find a way to communicate if their units were ever ordered to attack the other.) - Heard first-hand about the horrifying obstacles the US government placed in the paths of Afghani translators (for the US Army) trying to immigrate to safety in the US. - Met a Singaporean former mercenary, who told me all about doing private security for illegal gold mines in New Guinea. He was very matter of fact (and entirely unrepentant) about having indiscriminately shot local villagers and government forces. Several of his buddies were killed by bow and arrow in an attack during which he cut and ran ("their families are still mad at me"). It was all a madcap adventure, as far as he was concerned, and then he showed me pictures of his boat. Looking at that list, I guess don't do it if you don't want to be trauma-dumped, but I'm quite socially awkward, so you don't have to let that stop you. Most people don't seem to care - they have stories they want to tell, and will tell them, if you'll listen.